The FMA World VS Kakashi
by Inui's bastard love-child
Summary: It WAS a quiet day for the Roy. That was until the Gate Alchemist went mad and brought over a certain white haired Jounin. Crossover with Naruto
1. Chapter 1

Fullmetal Alchemist and Naruto are owned by other people. Heck I'm still trying to buy the DVD's, assorted plushies, plus other assorted memorabilia that I can find. (Time to cry poor!)

Flamers welcome. So GIMMIE REVIEWS, I will take them when they are burnt too. CHRISPIES! (Okay I know that I am traditionally supposed to say 'please review' at the end, but why wait…) Pyromaniacs beware!

On another note… I would like to dedicate this story to all of my friends who helped and supported me (And my little cat) through a very rough time I had last year. But like my family has always said. "True friends are like gold, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found laying everywhere." So this is my way of saying thankyou to everyone of you.

**The FMA World VS Kakashi**

It was a hard life. A soldier's life. A commander's life. A weird life. Yes, when all things are considered. Col. Roy Mustang's life was difficult.

Especially when you take into account that Major Hawkeye is telling you to finish paperwork at the point of a gun.

And it was at that moment, that Major Hawkeye walked in sharply with a contingent of soldiers following dragging in a dishevelled man.

"Colonel Mustang sir!" Called out the Major. "We have just caught the Gate alchemist."

Roy leaned forward in his chair, his clasped hands in front of him to regard the Gate alchemist. "So..." he began sternly, his dark eyes narrowing to threatening slits, "...you decided to show your true colours to work as some demented version of a holy warrior which destroyed the lives of 11 soldiers and 15 innocent people, 4 of which where children!"

"All must perish to serve my holy will," the gate alchemist ranted, his greasy black hair shining in the well lit office; his brown eye's wild as he giggled madly, his manacled hands erratically gripping the air.

"You will be hereby charged with the murder of 26 people and rebellion against the state," Mustang firmly announced.

"Your laws do not affect me!" The Gate Alchemist crowed manically. "I am above all of you insects who dare go against the law of God!"

Mustang voiced a contemptive snort "Take the lunatic to the special holding cell in the detention area," he curtly ordered.

"Yes sir," the lead soldier crisply replied as he saluted the Colonel.

"All will die to serve my God," the Gate Alchemist suddenly yelled as he unexpectedly lunged at a soldier beside him his hands forming symbols in the air as he stretched his hands towards the startled soldier. "I shall bring his most holy soldier to my aid!"

Etched into the Gate Alchemist's hands, was a stark scar of an alchemy array which seemed to have been inflicted with a razor.

The very second the seeking limbs connected with the soldier, the light from a working array became evident.

The bright flare from the alchemic reaction grew, instantly blinding everyone around them.

As swiftly as it had appeared, the light faded; revealing a man standing in the remains of the dead soldier as the Gate Alchemist started to laugh again.

The so called 'Holy Soldier' wore black clothes with a red swirl adorning the upper arms of the shirt, a green flak jacket over the top with an orange swirl showing on the back. His shoes showed the heel and the toes and the fingerless black gloves covering the backs of his hands appeared to have a metal strip over their tops.

Wrapped around his right calf was a bandage which also showed up around his ankles. A pouch was strapped to his right calf as well as another pouch just behind his back on the left side.

But what made everyone stare at the man, was the fact that the lower part of his face was covered by a mask. A headband with a metal plate adorned with a design of a swirling leaf was draped over his left eye covering it from view. The man's pure white hair which did not seem to show his true age stood spiked in the air. His blue eye looked around with an air of laziness.

The insane alchemist started to laugh as he gazed at the man.

"See. See. God has rewarded me with a holy warrior to help me destroy this wretched place!" The Gate Alchemist crowed triumphantly.

Lifting an eyebrow as if in surprise, the man carefully looked around the area; his single visible eye drinking in the sight of the soldiers with their weapons as also he surveyed what he was standing in.

"Destroy the weakling soldiers so that we may go on to continue the work of the…" The Gate Alchemist was cut short as the man suddenly took on a happy look while leaning his face closer to the crazed male.

"So you want me to kill all these men?" The stranger drawled.

"Yes do it now!" The madman ordered.

Leaning back the man smiled. "No. Not until I know what is happening."

"I brought you here to destroy everyone by our God's command." The Gate Alchemist yelled. "So do as I say and kill everyone!"

Roy stood up and walked around his desk. "That man is the Gate Alchemist and is wanted for the murder of 23 adults and 4 children and for treason against the state."

"And you are?" The man asked politely.

"Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist."

"What are you doing kill them!" The madman demanded growing impatient.

Cocking an eyebrow, the stranger looked at the crazed man. "No. You are not my Hokage."

"Then you shall die too." The alchemist yelled as he reached his hands to the unknown man.

But before he could even touch the new comer, the unbelievable happened.

The man disappeared.

"Where are you coward?" The alchemist screamed as the soldiers trained their guns at the crazed one.

"I'm not a coward!" a voice above them said with a hint of humour in the tone.

"Who or should I say what are you?" Roy asked curiously as everyone stared at the unknown man.

"Let's see…" the man hummed. "I don't think that 'I' the copycat ninja, Hatake Kakashi will tell you."

"You just did," Major Hawkeye stated flatly and received a happy look from the one visible eye.

"Enough talk!" The Gate Alchemist yelled as he grabbed another soldier who was nearby. "I will be back!"

There was another alchemic reaction. When the light died down the alchemist was gone and there lay another poor soldier whose body now resembled the first doomed soldier.

"Quick find him before there are any more innocent deaths!" Risa roared at the contingent of soldiers making them run out of the room with the sure shot Major hot on their heels.

The ninja quickly jumped down off the ceiling near the remains of the soldier. "How is this possible?" he muttered just loud enough to be heard.

"Through alchemy." Roy told the white hair ninja.

"Alchemy? I don't understand?" Kakashi questioned.

"Alchemy is the study of equivalent exchange," a young voice called out.

They turned to see a young teenager with blond hair and wearing a red coat at the door. Behind him was a huge suit of armour.

"Ah. Fullmetal nice of you to show up." Mustang smiled. "I suppose you should be grateful that I am on the other side of the desk for once so that I can see you."

A vein could be seen on the side of the blond teenager, but before he could try and jump on the colonel, the armoured man quickly grabbed him.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT YOU CAN'T DISDIQUISH HIM FROM A GRAIN OF SAND!" Fullmetal yelled.

"Big brother, please, stop it." The armour pleaded to his smaller counterpart.

"Okay why is there a child's voice coming from that armour?" Kakashi asked pleasantly.

"Oh hello, I'm Alphonse Elric. Edward's younger brother," Al told the man bowing.

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Kakashi asked with a glint of mischief in his eye.

"Shut up you stupid Cyclops!" Edward spat at the ninja.

"Cyclops? That's the first time I've been called that." Kakashi laughed. "I always thought Cyclops only had one eye and the last time I checked I had two."

"Then can I ask as to why the headband over the eye sir?" Al asked politely.

"Yes you can," Kakashi nodded.

A few moments passed.

"Then why are you wearing it then?" Al asked again.

"I'm not saying." The man laughed.

"But you just said that Al could ask." Ed yelled at the man.

"True but I never said that I would answer back!" Kakashi replied holding one finger up in the air.

Then before anyone could answer, Roy started to laugh.

"What's so funny crappy colonel?" Ed asked.

"Don't mind me. Keep going Fullmetal I don't think it will help you." Roy sniggered.

Kakashi held up his hand. "Um… Could you tell me where I am first?"

"Oh I'm sorry; the Gate Alchemist must have somehow brought you from another part of the world." Mustang smiled. "Don't worry. If you can tell me where you are from I shall organise a military escort to help you get back home."

"I am from the hidden village of Konoha, which is located in Fire Country." Kakashi smiled.

Roy looked questioningly at the two brothers before switching his gaze back to the ninja. "I'm sorry. But there is no such country as Fire Country of is there of any Konoha let alone a hidden village of any sort."

"I do not understand?" Kakashi stared at Mustang.

"I am telling you the truth my unknown friend." The colonel replied. "There is no such thing anywhere on this planet."

"That is not possible. I know it to be real. I was born, schooled, trained and lived there." Kakashi said disbelievingly. "You would not lie to me would you?"

"Well what do you know Cyclops? How do we know that you are not lying to us as well?" Fullmetal asked thoughtfully.

The white haired man turned to face the Colonel. "I would like to thank you for your generosity. But I do believe it is time for me to have a look around this 'Central' village that you say that I am in."

"One moment please." Mustang called out suddenly as the man turned to walk out of the room. "If you don't mind, would it be possible if I could lend you someone to escort you around so that way you will at least get to see and understand some of our ways?"

The Ninja seemed to think about it for short time. "That does sound like a good idea but I am better off without your armed guard."

"No, that is not the reason." The Flame Alchemist said knowingly. "Central at the moment is undergoing a small crisis at the present time with the Gate Alchemist and as he could be the only one with information about sending you back home."

"And I do believe that it is wise to keep you here in Central so that way we know that the Gate Alchemist will not try and injure you or any innocent bystanders who could get in his way to get you." Mustang steadily continued. "Also if we can at least get our hands on his research notes we might be able to send you home faster if possible."

"I still do not need an armed guard that can restrict my movements." Kakashi replied cheerfully.

"Then how about I send you one of my alchemists to help you?" Mustang started to smile. "The one I have in mind is well known for disobeying orders, causing more problems than what we need and is also known as the people's alchemist at times by the public?"

"FORGET IT COLONEL," Edward yelled suddenly. "DO IT YOURSELF!"

Kakashi seemed to look a bit worried. "I do not understand what you are getting at?"

Mustang grinned and walked over to angry alchemist. "Allow me to formal introduce to you our youngest State Alchemist, Edward Elric, also known as the Fullmetal Alchemist. The suit of armour is the younger brother of our chibi alchemist, Alphonse Elric. They are to be your guides."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU CAN'T SEE THEM IN AN ANT'S NEST." Edward screamed indignantly at the Colonel as Alphonse tried valiantly to hold his elder brother back from beating up his commanding officer.

"Brother, please stop this?" Alphonse pleaded as he held his elder brother back.

"That is an order Fullmetal!" Roy snapped. "Or do you intend to disobey my orders?"

"No Sir." Edward grated angrily as he calmed down. "Come on Cyclops lets go."

"This sounds like it is going to be fun." Kakashi laughed. "Let's go short stuff."

Veins seemed to pop out of the blonds head. As his younger, but taller sibling seemed to go into a panic.

"Let's go Cyclops before I kill you and the Crappy Colonel at the same time." Ed spat as he stormed out of the room leaving Kakashi laughing.

Alphonse turned around and bowed to the masked man. "I'm sorry about that. Ni-san has got a friendlier side to him when you get to know him."

"Don't worry about it." Kakashi laughed.

"Okay." Mustang growled. "Out you go, because if I don't finish these reports for Major Hawkeye I'm blaming it on you."

Alphonse's armour seemed to sweat-drop as he grabbed the masked ninja and pulled him from the room in a hurry.

"YES SIR." He yelled as he left with ninja in tow.

Mustang started to laugh as he watched the armour child leave with the masked adult. Wondering as to how he could burn all the paper on his desk without Hawkeye knowing about it.

Okay that is the first chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

And on another note- I would like to thank Tora Mccaw for being my Beta for this crossover story. So to her I shall say this… "All Hail the Almighty Cockroach!" and of course… "Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2

If you think I didn't add a disclaimer look at the first chapter. You will see it there.

_As seen mainly by a certain lazy white haired Jounin._

**Chapter II**

It was a quiet morning in central.

The birds were singing, people were walking their dogs and the local bakery was going about its business with the smell of freshly baked bread in the air, as the passer-bys seemed to drool over the contents that where being placed in the store windows of the still closed shop.

Well it was quiet. That was until a young man's scream filled the air.

"YARGHHH!" Screamed the voice. "YOU DUMB CYCLOPS! You've been here for over a week and already you are too much to deal with. Besides what made you want to put a trap here in the middle of this damned hallway?"

"How else was I going to make sure that you don't try and eat all my food in the fridge?" was the calm reply.

"He's got a point there Ni-san," a metallic voice said diplomatically.

"Al… Don't take his side." Edward complained. "You always take his side."

"No I don't Ni-san," Alphonse explained calmly. "Besides you always seem to eat way too much to begin with anyway."

"That's not the point," Edward complained. "No one should be setting traps in someone else's house."

"They shouldn't?" Kakashi asked innocently. "Then does that mean I should just kill any and all intruders that should show their unknown face around here first and then ask questions?"

"NO,' screamed the alchemist loudly.

"Then I take it if it is someone else's house one must follow the owners rules?" the Ninja asked kindly.

"Yes that is the usual procedure," Al nodded with a metallic sound.

"Then it means that one must learn to respect others material items regardless of what it is in the home in question, does it not?" gleamed Kakashi.

"YES IT DOES," screamed Edward a vein appearing on his forehead.

"Then I do believe you should stop tearing out all the pages of the house owners books," Kakashi pointed out.

"What are you talking about?" a curious Alphonse asked as his brother suddenly took on the look of a caged criminal.

"I noticed that Master Edward here was tearing out certain pages of a book then quickly hiding them into a note book," Informed Kakashi as he took on a thoughtful look. "I was watching him before he got caught in my deterrent."

"Ni-san, you didn't tear any books did you?" Alphonse suddenly asked a worried Edward.

"No, I didn't do anything of the sort," Edward said quickly as he started to back off towards the door away from his brother.

"Ni-san, take off your boots please," an angry little brother demanded.

"Al, you wouldn't think that your older brother would do such a thing would you?" a nervous Edward asked shakily.

"Well no, I don't think that you would do it," admitted Al.

"But, I am telling the truth," stated the white hair ninja. "It was some book that had all these funny drawings of different circles on it."

"Really?" the armoured suit demanded of the Jounin.

"It is the truth," Kakashi stated with a truthful voice. "I swear by the village of Flames." (1)

Edward seemed to stare at the Ninja in disbelief before taking one startled look at his larger younger brother, and quickly bolting from the room in a dead run.

"NI-SAN! GET BACK HERE!" Alphonse yelled as he charged after his elder brother, his armour clinking loudly as he went and the horse hair plume on his helmet streaming behind him. (2)

As the Elric brothers started their mad dash around the house. Kakashi seemed to giggle happily.

Looking around at the room that he was stationed in he noticed that the rooms that they where given on the military base where almost bleak and uniform in their appearance.

But at the same time that he had been there, he had been confined to the base and refused permission to leave the confines of the house.

So deciding to take matters into his own hands Kakashi took note of the older Elric's movement patterns. As the younger one seemed to be happily doing what ever he could with the housework ...that his older brother was refusing to do... in the bid to keep the damage to a minimum caused by the elder brother when he started to rant about their 'extra' chore.

In thinking that the 'extra' chore was a bit of nuisance, gave Kakashi an extra foothold on his plan to leave the base.

Remembering a young Genin with a scar across his nose from his village helped him, as he formulated his plan.

Quickly making his way to the window at the top floor of the five story barracks he passed a white haired solider watch him as he ran by.

Looking outside the window from the Fifth story, he noticed the younger Elric trying to apologise to the elder for his rough behaviour.

Jumping to the window sill he quickly peered around the area. Well aware of the white haired officer starting to come over to pull him off the window sill.

A metre from the ninja the man stopped.

"Excuse me sir,' the soldier stated officially. "But you are restricted to the Elric's rooms until further notice. Please return at once."

"What is your name please?" Kakashi asked showing his visible eye to the soldier.

"Warrant Officer Vato Falman sir," the man told him.

"Can I get you to pass a message on for me please?" queried the Ninja.

"I don't understand what you mean, sir?" the WO replied. (3)

"Oh I wouldn't worry about the details Officer. I just want you to pass a message onto a Colonel Mustang," laughed Kakashi. "Or don't you know him?"

Taking a quick look outside the window he noticed that the brothers had noticed him by the window.

"You stupid Cyclops!" Edward called out to the figure on the window sill on the second floor.

Kakashi started to snicker at the sight of the older Elric. He was missing his boots and his clothes where slightly torn revealing a flicker of metal that glinted in the sunlight that came from his left leg. Not worried then that he could have been hurt by his larger younger brother after he knew that he wore armour under his clothes. 'A wise decision for one so young to wear armour,' Kakashi thought.

"Sir?" Falman queried interrupting his thoughts. "Your message sir?"

"Yes, I would like you to tell him, that I thank him for his hospitality, but I have waited way too long for him to find this so called Gate person," the ninja told the man, as the elder Elric ran inside the house with the younger brother in tow. "I must get back to my village before I am classified a missing Nin."

"I don't understand sir?" the tall soldier asked politely.

"What I mean is that, due to the fact that you lot cannot be bothered to find this man and find me a way to go back, then I intend to find my own way home," Kakashi explained with upmost importance. "I thank you for your hospitality."

"Sir by order of Colonel Mustang you are forbidden to leave this establishment," Falman informed him.

"Are you going to stop me?" questioned Kakashi happily.

"If I must sir," agreed Falman.

"Then I will give you lot an hour to stop me as I do intend to explore this place, before I leave to search the main part of the village," Kakashi supplied happily. "You better tell him to move as quickly as he can to catch me as I do not intend to stay here any longer."

"Uh, sir this is not a village," sweat dropped Falman. "This is a city. Villages are somewhat smaller sir."

"Oh in that case I'll give him 2 hours to find me around here then," Kakashi cheekily replied.

Outside the door the Elric's where just about there, Kakashi could hear them almost outside the door. So it was at that moment that Kakashi decided to leave by jumping out of the window.

Falman lunged for the Jounin as he leaped, but the ninja was too fast for him. At the same time as he leapt, the Elric brothers burst through the door with the intent to cause grievous bodily harm to the masked man only to see him jump out of the window.

"What the…," the group of three yelled as they looked to the ground to find the masked man.

"Where did he go to?" Al asked in a frightened tone. "Did he hurt himself falling from this hight?"

"We can only hope, but I do believe that Mr Cyclops is defiantly alright," Edward said scathingly looking at the building across from theirs.

"How do you know that Ni-san?" questioned the armoured child.

The Fullmetal Alchemist pointed up towards the other building.

A sure enough there was the ninja almost walking calmly up the wall with his hands in his pockets. Once at the top of the building they spied the ninja wave to them then quickly disappear from view.

"Two hours," came a ghostly call from the Jounin. "Remember my message to the Colonel."

"What message?" demanded Ed of the WO.

"He wanted me to tell Col. Mustang that, due to the fact that we did not find the Gate Alchemist in the past week, he intended to go find his way own way back home by himself because he did not want to become a missing Nin of some sort, sir," WO Falman answered. "He also said that he was going to give us two hours to find him, before he starts looking in the city."

"Well go tell him then, I start trying to find the stupid Cyclops," Edward stated as he ran out of the room with Al following. "Tell Col. Bastard to start searching the walls!"

Left alone made WO Falman to do only one thing. To go find Colonel Mustang and inform him of the new events. That where just now unfolding.

"Colonel Mustang, Sir," Major Hawkeye glared at her superior officer. "You have not completed your paperwork for today; you are required to complete them before you leave."

"But Major Hawkeye," Roy whined as he pointed to the paper stacks. "You've given me twice the amount compared to normal"

"Then may I suggest that you stop trying to burn them when I am not around sir," replied Major Hawkeye in a flat emotionless voice.

Roy took up a pen and a pained face to match as he started to do his paperwork when WO Falman came bolting in.

Secretly happy to finally put the pen down, yet inwardly grimacing at the news that he was betting was going to be bad.

"Sir that fellow that you put under the watch of the Fullmetal Alchemist has asked me to tell you that because you had not found a way to send him back home he has decided to go do it himself, because he did not want to be labelled a missing Nin," Falman reported to the Col.

"Why didn't you stop him Warrant Officer Falman?" Major Hawkeye questioned.

"He sort of jumped out of the fifth floor of the building onto the side of the neighbouring building to which he then walked up the side to the roof, sir," Falman replied in a stiff military manner. "He said that he intends to give you at least two hours to find him in around the barracks if you wish to talk to him."

"It seems that our guest must have been bored by his current life style," Colonel Mustang replied getting up from the chair. "Major Hawkeye, get everyone to search and find Mr Kakashi if you please."

"Sir," WO Falman interrupted. "I think he means for you to try and capture him?"

"Then capture him then. We cannot have him at large causing trouble when the Gate Alchemist is still loose out there preforming his twisted alchemy," Roy ordered in a crisp voice. "Find that man now!"

"Yes sir," Major Hawkeye saluted as did WO Falman as they quickly bolted out of the doorway.

Now that the interruptions where gone. A smiling Mustang quickly took the stack of papers from his desk and quickly listened into the next room where the Maj. had moved all of his staff out of the building to find the ninja in question.

As he wandered into the room he put distributed all of the papers around to all of the in-boxes of various members of staff. (Making sure that Lieutant Havoc had a few extra sheets just in case.)

Happily Mustang ran off to help out with the search.

Looking in from one of the windows was a white haired ninja who was waiting patiently for the office to clear of workers so that he could start his searching.

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Authors notes:

1 - Okay, before anyone starts, I know that there is no such thing as the village of flames in Naruto. I just needed something that Kakashi could use as an excuse to get the boys moving.

2 - I have two younger sisters who love all this stuff about ancient arms and armour. So I looked up about the helmets similar to Alphonse's helmet and discovered that horse hair was sometimes used in the decorating of the helmets of old. Interesting isn't it?

3 - Just like Col. is the abbreviation of Colonel, WO is the abbreviation Warrant Officer. (Hey, I grew up with both of my parents in the Australian military, so that's how I know.)

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I never thought that I would be writing this but… I GOT REVIEWS. _(I'm so happy!_) So I thought that I might as well use the end of the next chapter to say my little bits and pieces… So here goes -

**Akio the Dragon Master** – Okay… Note to self. Must write more chapters pronto. Otherwise Dragon master person may become restless. (_With a name like Dragon Master, I'm sure one must obey!_)

**Zero-Vision** – Well I'm glad, I made someone have a good laugh.

**mollykat** – Thanks for the tip. On another note I have just discovered that tends to take out some of my spaces, full stops and comma's. (_Why, I have no idea?_) I am trying to fix it when I load it on, but I must admit to being a dunce on the computer at times. I'm am trying… honest. (_Very trying_.) ;

**RandomAnimeLoverGirl** – I believe that is what I am trying to do. It's just that I have this really annoying problem. It's called a life and between my two jobs, an Anime club, an insane cat, that weirdo family of mine and all my friends, it does tend to pose as a problem. (_But, I'm working on it!_)

**Tora Mccaw** – Ta very much.

**Honebar** – Well I don't think we will be seeing Kakashi copying any alchemy as it could prove to be very harmful to the Shinobi. (_And I want Kakashi to stay for somewhat longer._) And as to the book… don't worry as it will be making it's appearance sometime in a future chapter.

Well there we go another chapter is written. I hope everyone has a good laugh from it.


	3. Chapter 3

_I think that I may as well cut out the please do not sue. (Heck if they want to get me they better wait in line until I win Lotto!)_

**Chapter III**

Kakashi watched Col. Mustang happily move around, depositing his paper bundles in various locations around the room.

'Well he must be happy...' Kakashi thought to himself. '...he's whistling.'

Once Mustang had done his paper delivery dash, he quickly ran off to catch up with his troops.

Taking a quick look around the outside area, Kakashi could see no one around as he quietly pushed the window open.

Once inside, Kakashi carefully took a quick look around; his nimble fingers quietly opening draws and sifting through files.

However, he swiftly discovered to his dismay that he couldn't read so much as a single word of the intriguing papers.

Not that it was a complete problem. All of the files had pictures of people on them and he could still remember what this Gate Alchemist looked like.

Unable to find the file, Kakashi slid the cabinet door shut.

That was when he heard the cough. Looking towards the door, he spotted the Colonel along with his next in command; complete with a few soldiers.

Kakashi had to admit that they where quite good, especially for being able to sneak up on him.

"Can we help you?" Mustang asked with his smooth, yet commanding tone.

"No thanks Colonel, I can help myself." Kakashi's eye gleamed happily as he dismissed them all with a non-committal wave.

"Would you mind giving yourself up now?" The Major asked with her gun out.

"Let's see…," Kakashi took on a thoughtful look before turning his masked face to the soldiers. "No," he finished with a flat note of finality.

"Then you give us no choice, we cannot allow you to roam about the streets of Central where the Gate Alchemist may still be hunting for you," Mustang informed the Jounin. "I cannot and will not risk the citizen's lives in your bid to be a martyr."

"Then you'd better come at me with the intent to kill Colonel..." remarked Kakashi happily. "…otherwise I may not listen at all."

"Major!" Mustang barked, making Risa Hawkeye instantly pull out her gun and train it on the Ninja.

"Mister Kakashi, you are hereby ordered to stand down immediately, any antics will not be tolerated and will be dealt with extreme and immediate force," Risa warned, her face serious as her troops behind her took her lead.

"Can I just do one thing?" Kakashi asked innocently.

"That depends what it is." Mustang said in a flat and challenging voice.

Kakashi slowly brought his hands together then kneaded the limbs into a different type of pose. "It's a simple matter called… 'Kage Bunshin No Jitsu'."

And with the end of those words, about five new versions of Kakashi unexpectedly appeared. "Can you find the right one?" they asked simultaneously before launching into motion.

Three ran in the direction of the soldiers, while the other three ran for the window.

Hawkeye shot one of them; making it disappear from sight in a cloud of smoke, before one of the 'Ninjas' had her on the ground with a sharp blow to the neck thus knocking her out. The other one was shot by one of the soldiers and disappeared in its own puff of smoke, as the third that raced towards them was caught by the fast moving troop.

Of the three that went to leave out through the window, one was shot by a stray bullet and disappeared just before the other two where caught by Roy's snapping hand.

The explosion destroyed the glass where two of them were attempting to jump through the open window; the unfortunate clones abruptly disappearing into smoke as well.

Turning to face the one that held the remaining ninja, Roy smirked his triumph. "It looks like we win."

"You sure?" the ninja asked before disappearing to reveal one very unconscious Risa Hawkeye.

"How is this possible?" Lieutant Fury asked confused.

"Simple." was the ghostly reply to the assembled troops. "What you just saw happen was a 'Kawarimi' or changed body technique. Handy skill isn't it?"

"Don't just stand there!" Mustang roared. "He must still be nearby! Mr Breda! Take the Major to the infirmary, the rest of you, hurry up and find him!"

As Mustang's soldiers almost fell over themselves in their rush to perform their respective tasks, Roy moved to take up residence of one of the un-damaged chairs and sighed in frustration.

"Tiring, isn't it?" a familiar tone drawled.

Roy knew that voice. "I thought you had run off in your bid to cause more trouble?"

Stepping around was Kakashi who seemed undisturbed about the unfolding drama. In one of his hands was a knife with a ring designed into the handle.

"I can't really run off now can I?" the eye grinned. "You sorted that part out, didn't you?"

Roy started to slowly move his right hand up closer to his face, trying to act as non-threatening as he could be. "Well considering the situation right now, I didn't see that I had much of a choice."

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," warned Kakashi. "I am faster than you for one and could snap every bone in your hand before you could snap your fingers."

"What do you want?" queried the Colonel as he put his hands back down by his side.

"I want to go back," supplied Kakashi. "I am loyal to my village, so as such do not want to be labelled a missing Nin."

"And why would that be?" questioned Mustang.

"I told you Colonel, I am loyal, so does that not say that I am not wanting to go missing in case I become a criminal." Kakashi helpfully replied.

"If you do this, you will become a criminal." informed the Colonel.

"Only with your people, not with mine." Kakashi's eye grinned. "I am an assassin, an elite warrior of my village and I want to go back to where I belong."

Leaning back in his chair, Mustang reviewed what he knew mentally about the Ninja and what he had just learned. "So you are that desperate to go home like some coward dog with their tail between their legs?"

"I must go back." Kakashi informed Mustang. "While I am gone, my village is still in constant danger from rivals and the longer that I am gone, the longer that my village will suffer."

"As if they cannot survive without you?" Roy said scathingly as he had enough games from this man.

"You think that one assassin is not as powerful as one of your soldiers," replied Kakashi flatly. "As we speak three lots of your soldiers are chasing my shadow clones."

"What do you mean?" demanded Roy.

"Your soldiers are chasing shadows Colonel. Just like you tried to chase and destroy my shadow clones here," informed the ninja. "And since you are here by yourself you can give me all the details about this Gate person that brought me here, so that I can hunt him down."

"We are already trying to do that." smiled Mustang knowingly.

"I realise that your version of hunting down a criminal is just doing paperwork constantly" was the sarcastic yet dangerous reply. "You know nothing of hunting for a criminal."

"And you do, I take it?" Mustang deadpanned to his audience of one.

"I think you've wasted enough time Colonel," replied the Jounin. "Get up and find me some of your current paperwork that has something on that Gate Alchemist… Now Colonel, or I will be showing you how well I can work under pressure."

"Are you threatening me?" asked Mustang slyly.

"No, I am telling you," Kakashi explained. "And you will do it or I will get your staff to do it for me."

"Oh and how would you do that?" questioned Mustang.

Kakashi started to walk around the sitting Colonel. "Henge no Jitsu!" the Jounin called out to the startled Colonel once he was behind him.

When he came around he looked the splitting image of the Colonel. "Now, I do believe that you should do as you are told Colonel."

"I don't think that he will, Cyclops!" a young voice called angrily as the Fullmetal Alchemist stalked through the door with his armoured shadow in tow.

"Really?" Kakashi asked with excitement in his voice as he resumed his natural form. "Shall we find out then?"

Kakashi quickly jumped back and started to form two symbols out of his hands as Mustang quickly got up and raised his hands to snap the fingers.

"Grand Fireball no Jitsu!" Kakashi called out as he quickly breathed through his fingers.

On the other side of the room the Flame Alchemist snapped his fingers.

The resulting explosions destroyed the middle of the room and at the same time protected both sides.

"Interesting technique." complemented an impressed-despite-himself Mustang.

"How about I show you another?" Kakashi eye glinted mischievously as he released a scroll from his flak jacket.

"Remember my knife Colonel?" asked the Ninja as he sliced his left thumb open.

He then threw the scroll up into the air which made it unravel.

Grabbing it with his right hand, he moved it easily in the air as he made a line of blood using his bloodied left hand.

"You see, us Shinobi don't always work alone at times," he explained as he twirled the unravelled scroll around him, to the left, then the right and then once more around the body to throw it once again up in the air where it rolled itself back up again.

"If you think I am going to let you do another of your freaky things Cyclops, you've got another thing coming!" exclaimed Edward as he clapped his two hands together and quickly slammed it into the wall.

The alchemic reaction released by Ed made lightning dance along the walls to produce a spike, which launched itself after the ninja who seemed to take it… if it wasn't for the fact that another Kawarimi had taken his place.

As the office chair was destroyed, the ninja reappeared behind Al and quickly knocked him into Edward as they flew into Roy.

"Ninpou Kouhiyose Doton Tsuiga No Jitsu!" the white haired ninja called out. Slamming the scroll into the ground hard, making some of the concrete crack under the force of the blow. (1)

As the alchemists picked themselves up they noticed that Kakashi was now surrounded by six various dogs.

All of them wore headbands with the same swirling leaf symbol as Kakashi and they also wore blue coats with an unknown symbol on them.

Some of the dogs had bandages wrapped on them, as others had sometimes, a pair of goggles or sunglasses on them as well.

It was a really bizarre sight.

"What do you think of my cute Nin-dogs?" Kakashi asked proudly of his three watchers.

"Pakkun, you're in charge. I want you lot to keep an eye on them as I search the room." Kakashi then called out to a small pug that was a part of the group. "You may want to stay alert with them as they seem to be able to use some strange form of Jitsu's."

The pug sat to attention and then quickly saluted to the ninja who had summoned them. "Yes sir." The pug replied, startling the trio. "But master Kakashi, what did you want us to do with the suit of armour?"

"Keep an eye on the child inside it as well as the others." demanded Kakashi.

"But sir, there is no child in there that I can smell." Pakkun reported. "May I please try something, Master Kakashi?"

Kakashi nodded to the Pakkun.

The pug moved with a speed bordering un-normal to grab Alphonse's helmet, pulling it off the boy's armoured body.

What was revealed was a hollow suit of armour.

Alphonse stiffened with a surprised cry to the pug's discovery. The pug sat in front of the other Nin-dogs, front paws still clamped down on the plume of Alphonse's helmet

His armoured gauntlets trying to cover the gaping hole that was now evident, as his elder brother suddenly jumped in front of him with the intent to protect his only sibling.

But alas, it was all for naught as Edward was suddenly set upon by two Nin-dogs; one on his chest snarling bared teeth into Edwards face, as the other had its gleaming fangs tight around his left leg.

These Nin-dogs moved fast by normal standards.

The Nin-dogs had moved quickly to drag Edward to the ground.

It was at that time, that Kakashi noticed something strange. Edward's leg seemed to be repelling the dog's teeth as they tore some of the cloth away from the boy's limb; only to fully reveal the Fullmetal Alchemist's secret.

"How is this possible?" Kakashi asked angrily. "How can someone have a leg of steel, let alone an empty shell of iron as a body?"

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Authors notes:

1 - That particular Jitsu translates into '_Summoning move, Earth element: Dogging Fangs_' if that helps.

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Okay now to review what I can...

**keikai senshi of nishinos **- (_Fan's face_) Thank you. (_Praise gotta love it!_)

**Honebar** - 'Micro Ferrets!' Have you been talking to my friends? I could swear you are starting to sound like Tora Mccaw and some of my other fellow lunatics! (But here you go! I'll be good... NOT!)

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I know. I know… How could I leave this at a cliff-hanger so soon into the 'discovery?' I also know that one of my friends would call this an 'Evil Cliff-hanger No Jitsu'. (_I would just call it an 'I want to sleep mode.'_)

Yes, that's right it is my excuse, (_And I'm sticking to it!_) that if I had continued, I would have cut into my valuable sleeping time. (_Yes. Amaze at the fact that we shift workers can sleep… The only problem being that it is at random and varied times during the week!_) And now, Tora can play with it... cue evil laughter...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter IV**

"Somebody better explain what is the meaning of this?" snarled Kakashi.

"What is to explain?" Mustang replied patiently. "The only fact that remains is that these boys are special."

"Then how did these "boys" as you put it so eloquently, get to even be like this!" an angry Kakashi growled.

"That is classified." a non-fussed Colonel evenly told the seething Shinobi.

"Classified is it? I'm tired of hearing about your version of classified Colonel!" the irate Jounin angrily informed him. "You also fail to realise that I have your life in my hands right now Colonel."

"All I see, is a bunch of clever tricks." replied the Colonel.

Kakashi apparently having enough just walked over to the Colonel and gripped him by the front of his jacket with his left hand.

"A clever trick is it?" spoke the Shinobi dangerously as he lifted the startled Roy into the air. "How about I show you the trick that I am most famed for?"

"Oh please do," Mustang sneered with an uncaring tone.

Using his right hand to grip the left side of his bandana over his hidden eye, Kakashi brought his then unseeing eye into view.

All Roy could see was a scar that started somewhere in the hairline it went past the left eye and down to be hidden behind the mask.

"I take it I should be scared of that scar?" asked Roy insultingly. "Or the empty eye socket behind it?"

"And what makes you think that I don't have an eye?" smiled Kakashi evilly.

And with that said, Kakashi opened his left eye.

What Mustang saw was a red eye with what looked like 3 seeds of some sort starting to spin around the cornea.

It was also making him dizzy. But for some unknown reason he could not tear his eyes away from the sight.

"Why are the Elric brothers like this?" demanded Kakashi.

"MUSTANG!" Edward cried out, earning a warning growl from the Nin-dog near his face as the Nin-dog attached to his left leg roughly shook him.

"They preformed…" Mustang started to speak slowly as if trying to fight whatever suggestion or hypnosis that the Shinobi had put on him. "… An illegal trans…."

Mustang went silent as his body started to shake as it attempted to halt what was happening to him.

"Hmm," voiced Kakashi thoughtfully. "Quite strong willed aren't we?"

"LET HIM GO!" Alphonse screamed desperately as the remaining three Nin-dogs moved to pin him down.

Edward would have moved himself Kakashi noticed, but was being forcefully restrained by the dog on his chest.

Ignoring the armoured child, Kakashi continued… "Tell me, Colonel. NOW!" the ninja barked.

"Maybe I can help with your question, sir?" an elegant voice suddenly asked.

Kakashi turned to the doorway where a large man stood wearing metallic gauntlets while also in one of their blue army uniforms. A tuft of yellow hair at the unknown mans forehead seemed to try and accent his large frame.

"And who are you?" demanded the curious Shinobi.

Quickly ripping off his uniform from the waist up the man took on a pose that made his muscles flex in a way so that the Ninja could see them all.

"I am Major Alex Louis Armstrong." the man said proudly as for some unknown reason sparkles started to show up around him. "I am also known as the Iron-armed Alchemist."

The way the man acted made the white haired ninja blanch. "Oh Kami-sama… Not another one!" he pleaded desperately as he was instantly reminded of Konoha's green beast, forgetting about the Flame alchemist who had quickly brought his gloved hand up.

Snapping his fingers quickly brought a fireball around the Shinobi.

"Master Kakashi!" the Pug called out in panic.

The explosion ripped through the area that the ninja was standing was loud and concentrated on the one spot.

As the smoke cleared everyone's line of sight, they where left with a most curious sight.

The man had disappeared.

"Now where did our white haired friend disappear off to?" Armstrong asked with an air of upmost curiosity.

"Master Kakashi… are you alright?" the pug called out to the unseen Shinobi.

"Yes, it's alright Pakkun." was the ghostly voice's reply.

"Master…," the pug called out to the ghostly entity. "We are being called away. May we come back at another time?"

"Of course, I shall call you again when I need you," spoke the voice, as his dog summons dissipated in a cloud of smoke. (1)

Edward, now free of the canines and Alphonse also free to collect his helmet, started to search the room using only their ears to locate the ghostly voice.

"Got him!" mouthed Edward at one corner of the room towards the other alchemists.

Quickly clapping his hands together Edward slammed the palms onto the floor.

The reaction moved to dismantle the wall of the room on the other side.

As the wall crumbled the ninja was made visible to them.

It was also then that Kakashi attacked with his strange looking dagger.

The charge was deflected by Armstrong who gripped the Shinobi by the wrist and threw him to the farthest corner of the two offices combined.

As Kakashi flew at the wall at a fast pace, he twisted with ease as he jumped calmly off the side to face them.

Armstrong then picked up a large chunk of masonry and punched it towards the white haired man.

As it flew towards Kakashi, the building material changed into that of a large spiked missile made of stone.

Kakashi's eye narrowed as he quickly preformed a few hand gestures.

"Air Element: Lightning Wall no Jitsu!" the Jounin called out as the area around him started to glow a bluish light. (2)

As the projectile impacted with the blue 'wall' the resulting in a powdered explosion which covered the entire area in dust.

But as the cloud of dust settled they noticed the amazing.

The ninja was unmistakably unharmed and seemed to be looking at them with an air of complete alertness in his mismatched eyes.

"What's the matter?" the ninja seemed to ask with an unfazed voice. "Are you confused about my Jitsu's?"

"Is that what you are calling your parlour tricks?" Armstrong asked the sparkles still evident around his frame.

"Oh, so what I am doing is what you call parlour tricks." Kakashi asked seriously. "Then let's see what this particular parlour trick can do!"

Then he quickly crossed his hands to do some very quick yet strange gestures.

Just by doing this set the Alchemists into an intense state of alertness as the watched the Shinobi.

He finished up with his right hand with its palm up in a clawed like fashion as the left hand held the wrist of his right arm.

Then they stood amazed as Kakashi gathered what looked like raw energy into the palm of his clawed hand.

"RAIKIRI!" Kakashi called out to everyone.

"Allow me to show you how a 'Raikiri' works!" Kakashi grunted as the glowing ball of blue lightning gave of an eerie glow.

"Ni-san. I can hear birds coming from his hand," Al exclaimed confused.

"How is this possible?" Ed whispered as the ninja took on a crouched stance, ready to attack.

The ninja then lunged for them at an almost impossible speed. Then when the assembled Alchemist's thought that they could not be surprised any more, the attacking Ninja stopped in mid stride, the 'Jitsu' dissipated quickly into thin air as the expression on his face was one of surprise and alarm.

His eye's seemed to retreat back into his skull as he fell to the floor in a boneless slump. (3)

"Okay would someone please tell me what just happened?" queried Fullmetal as they all stared at the fallen Shinobi.

"I think we just caught him?" a mischievous voice called out happily.

All but Col. Mustang turned to watch Maj. Maes Hughes walk in with a grin as he held his hand up in a friendly wave.

"Hello everyone, how is everyone doing?" He asked with a wide smile as he walked in.

"Major." Armstrong acknowledged as the man walked in.

Hughes walked in with an air of calmness around him. "I'm glad I'm not fixing this mess up!" he laughed as behind him, four guards walked over to pick up the unconscious Kakashi.

"Put him under close guard and observation while he is in detention." Mustang ordered. "And also make sure to bind his hands in something as he seems to be able to use different types of gestures to complete his version of an alchemic reaction."

"Yes sir," one of the guards replied as they moved the man out of the room.

"What do you want Hughes?" Roy demanded of the Major.

"It seems that the Gate Alchemist has stuck again." Maes replied with an angry tone.

"How many?" Mustang asked with quiet anger.

"He apparently went into a store and killed the store owner and a customer." Hughes spat out with a disgusted tone. "It seems that he has brought someone else from our unknown warrior's home."

"And how would you know that?" queried Ed.

"Well we have been lucky enough to get an eye witness who matched the same type of sleeveless jacket as your destructive little friend." smiled the Major.

"Put the guard out on high alert." Mustang ordered seriously. "And also put Mister Kakashi under high guard in a more secure area."

"I get right onto it Colonel!" Armstrong saluted as he quickly left the room.

- - - - - - -

"So what you're saying is that the people who had died when I apparated into that store were the victims of this 'State Alalchemsy' thingo." the unknown voice asked.

"That is right." the Gate Alchemist explained. "And because of them my most important work to bring joy to this place has been delayed."

"What where you doing again?" the voice asked confused.

"I was studying help create a world in which all of God's children will remain in a state of high evolution and grace." the Gate Alchemist stated with an almost fanatical zeal.

"Then with the vitality of…," the unknown man stated.

"Yes, yes, yes we already know that part!" the crazed Alchemist interrupted. "What I need you to do is stop the first person that I brought over by accident who is destroying this world's way of life!" (4)

"Yosh!" cried the man with an excited gusto.

"Yes, but for now I think we had better try and lay low just in case the Alchemist's come around with that warrior." the Alchemist interrupted.

"But if we stay we increase our chance to do away with the evil-doers quickly?" the man seemed to complain to his Alchemist companion.

"Enough!" the Gate Alchemist stated quickly. "I have already organised a place to go while we wait our time to attack the evil ones!"

"Then let us go!" the man seemed to shout as he jumped up in a bid to pose.

"ENOUGH ALREADY!" the Gate Alchemist cried out angrily. "Let's stop posturing and start moving.

"Oh… okay," the man replied as he got up to follow the Alchemist out of the room.

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Author's notes:

1 – Okay, look at it this way. When Naruto learnt how to do the Frog Summon he still had to explain and persuade the frogs to help him. And Jiraiya had full command of them and could call which ever one was need without fail. (_And he was at lot more polite towards Naruto._) Now the way I see it is that the 'Master' who has taught Kakashi how to do the Dog Summon is still around and would still have first go at whatever dog he would require… (_And in my version the previous tutor seems to like to go the whole pack or nothing!_)

2 – 'Air Element: Lightning Wall no Jitsu' is just something new I made up for Kakashi to use. (_So that means that it is mine… all mine…! tries to laugh evilly but ends up in a fit of coughs._ _Damn my cold!_)

3 - Okay, I do also realise that Kakashi with his eye could have lasted longer. But consider this… Kakashi was not born with that eye. It belonged to his best friend. So naturally he would be hard pressed to continue studying with it, as it would drain his energy to keep the 'Sharingan' going. It would only be natural that he would have to work 'really' hard to make the technique work for him. (_If you don't like that theory I have made. That is okay with me. But I am drawing from my experience of being a carer and my duty in assisting people, improve their 'Quality of Life'._)

4 – Okay, the way I have got this is… that as far as the Gate Alchemist is concerned, he is correct, true and good and that the rest of the State Army is wrong, false and pure evil. So don't you think he would tell someone he would want to work for him what he believes to be true? (_I would. I've seen it happen in real life with patients, I have had the pleasure to help and I have the scars to prove it!_)

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Okay. I apologise… I am no good with writing out action scenes. But if you like it, BONUS! (_You'll make me one happy lunatic._) So give me reviews! (_Otherwise how do I know if you guy's like the way I am writing this._)

It may also seem like I am rushing the story. Trust me, I'm not. I also wanted to bring in another Shinobi so soon. I was joking with one of my friends as to who could cause the most trouble. (_Well I'm sure to can sort of figure out the rest!_)

Also as a bit of a bonus to everyone out there. Keep an eye out for a certain book in the next Chapter!

Tora's note.

I think my friend here is doing a great job. As her beta, mistakes are MINE nya! I do not believe in making alterations to her writing that may change her style of tale spinning. I just fix up the small things.

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Reviews –

**Honebar **– Well one more chapter officially up for you to read. I don't care what you do to some of my socks. But please leave my toe socks alone. ;;


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter V**

Roy walked into his newly assigned offices with a sense of dread as a certain Major Hawkeye was marching him in with her hand on her revolver.

Looking at his new desk he noticed that there was a small amount of paperwork in the in-box on top of his desk to do.

Seeing that made him relieved as he sat down at the desk, only to have the Major suddenly put the contents of his in-box onto his desk.

"Please complete this now Colonel as this was to be signed two day's ago," the woman informed him with a tone to her voice that was daring him to try and retaliate against her wishes.

"Yes Major!" he replied obediently as he quickly started to do his paper work trying to hide the smile about the fact that she did not know about his paper sorting the day that their 'guest' went violent the two days ago.

Continuing to sign and giving all of his attention to the task that Hawkeye had given him, he had failed to notice that Risa had taken an armfull of papers from the soldier at the door.

It was only when Major Hawkeye put the large amount of papers into his in-box did he stop and look up in alarm at her.

"What's this?" he asked incredulously.

"Your last five day's of paperwork," she told him with a slight smile. "Including the one's that were found in the other office that was mixed in the rubble, amongst the other officers destroyed desks, Sir."

Groaning, Roy started to do his paper work only glimpsing at the Major every so often to see the female officer finger her firearm.

It seemed to be that time went on forever for the Colonel as he attempted to work under pressure. As far as Roy was concerned, reality had the twilight zone of unlimited time.

Following the abrupt sound of unexpected knock, he suddenly called out to the unknown person to enter.

It was Lieutant Kain Fuery. This soldier was almost way too small, too… wimpy, to even be a soldier and seemed to be more suited reading books. What with his glasses and all.

"Sir, you wanted to be informed when Mister Kakashi is about to wake?" he reported. "I have been sent down by the medical doctors that he should be waking up any moment now."

"Let's go," Mustang replied quickly with all the military style tone he could so muster as he shooed the Lieutant out of the door to go down to the medical barracks.

As he quickly left, Risa sighed in desperation as she followed her 'I don't wanna work!' commander.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Kakashi groaned as he tried to move. It felt like he just had the Kyuubi use him as a door mat. His brain still felt somewhat foggy as to where he was.

"I take it you are feeling a little under the weather at the moment, Master Kakashi," a voice asked with a superior tone to it.

"Sensei, I didn't have anything to do with it honest!" Kakashi mumbled out to the voice.

"To do with what?" the same voice asked curiously.

"That rumour about me having got a copy Jiraiya-sama's new book." Kakashi continued to mumble. "Besides it was all Obito's idea anyway!"

"That's all and good Master Kakashi, but for now I think you should wake up." the voice replied annoyed.

Kakashi opened his right eye very carefully as he squinted at the ceiling. For the surrounding light was hurting his eye.

"Where am I?" he asked unsteadily. "This isn't the medical facility in Konoha?"

"You are in the Central army medical facility." the voice said as Kakashi moved his head to catch an idea of who the speaker was.

Taking one look at the direction of the door he spied the Colonel Mustang, Major Hawkeye and a man with short black hair and wearing glasses and the same uniform as his companions.

"It looks like you got your wish Colonel." Kakashi replied his voice tinged with fatigue.

"What do you mean?" the man asked curiously.

"I can barely move at the moment," Kakashi informed them. "So I guess that means that you have won this round."

"Does that mean that you could be trying to escape again?" the unknown man asked.

"What do you mean by could be trying to escape?" a weary Kakashi muttered. "If I didn't collapse I would have been out of here by now."

"But it seems that because of that particular, what did you call it again a something or other," the man waved off as if it wasn't important. "That you did cause you to collapse."

"It is called a 'Jitsu' and no that was not the reason I collapsed." informed Kakashi.

"And the reason you collapsed was..?" the man pressured.

"Hey if you cannot figure it out. Don't come to me," announced the Shinobi. "But on another note, where is my gear?"

"In another place until we know that you can be trusted not to leave." the Colonel replied.

"Then could you perhaps give me my reading material that was in my back pouch?" Kakashi pleaded seriously.

"We shall see." Mustang replied cautiously. "Until then, consider yourself under arrest."

"Thank you Colonel," Kakashi thanked sincerely.

"On another note, that mask of yours has gotten the medical staff here baffled." Roy announced officially. "How did you get to stay on there?"

"What do you mean?" quizzed Kakashi.

"The staff here has been unable to take off that mask of yours." informed Mustang. "They have been trying to get it off you with no result. That there is now a rumour that you have glued it to yourself."

"That's nice." Kakashi's open eye grinned back. "It's good to be curious."

And with that the Ninja collapsed into another deep sleep.

"Major Hawkeye!" Roy called out to the officer beside him. "Increase his guard and when the medical staff here thinks it is necessary, have him moved to the maximum security holding cell under full guard. Also have his gear brought to me at the office when you can."

"Yes sir!" she crisply saluted.

Mustang turned to leave.

"Sir!" Risa saluted to him. "I will be back soon to 'assist' you in your office."

Roy's face blanched at the word 'assist' that his next in command had just used as he quickly made his way out of the door to hurry back to his room at full tilt.

Leaving Major Hughes in a fit of laughter, as the two soldiers left.

- - - - - - -

Mustang was almost finished his work, when Major Hawkeye came in with Lieutant's Breda and Havoc. As they came in they where carrying the warrior's equipment.

"Sir, Master Kakashi's gear as you requested," announced the Major.

It was placed on the table that was situated in front of the Colonel's desk.

What they put down were knives and throwing stars with the most razors like edge that Mustang had ever seen.

Amongst his clothes where scrolls of with different writing on them and there was two long coils of metal wire with weights on one end; it did not look like it was for fishing, that much the Colonel did know. Also various sphere's of different colours in different packages where there, their uses unknown.

There was also a bright orange book with the words 'Make out Paradise" on the front with a picture of a man chasing a woman with long hair.

"That must be the book he was asking for." announced Major Hawkeye thoughtfully.

"I think you may be right." agreed Mustang as he picked up the book.

Opening it to a random page, Mustang started to read it; his eye's starting to look more bug-like the more he read as a trickle of blood started to flow out of both nostrils.

"Sir?" the surrounding soldiers asked puzzled.

"I think I might just confiscate that," Mustang quickly announced as he quickly slammed the book shut and tried to hide it in his shirt.

"COLONEL!" Major Hawkeye yelled dangerously. "Put it down!"

As Mustang reluctantly obeyed, Havoc picked up the book and took a quick look at the contents as Breda read over his shoulder.

Seconds later, they too where also suffering from blood noses; just like their superior officer.

"I think we should give that book back to Mister Kakashi sir," Risa firmly announced in a tone that dared anyone to dispute her. "I don't think it would look good for the staff here to be caught with that book."

"But Major!" wined the boys in the room as Hawkeye confiscated the book in question.

All complaints where suddenly silenced as Risa unloaded a few rounds into the wall behind them. Her face was one that seemed to promise death to those who challenged her.

"Thank you for agreeing with me," Hawkeye smiled as she walked out with the book, the faces of the men in the room was one of pure sadness and despair.

"That's not fair!" sobbed Lieutant Havoc, his brown eyes glistening with moisture. "How come that Prisoner is allowed to read that book and we're not?"

As the Lieutant's sadly shuffled from the room, Mustang contemplated if he should finish his work or just let Risa shoot him now while he still remembered the words written on in the book.

Quickly deciding that if he lived he might still have a chance at reading that book, he hurriedly finished the rest of his paperwork in the hope that there still might be a chance to read the entire book before it 'accidently' met with an unfortunate demise.

He had just finished stacking the last of the offending forms, when the door slammed open to reveal a certain blond with an armoured shadow.

"Colonel what's this I hear about making me that stupid Cyclops guardian while he is here!" yelled Fullmetal as his steel plated brother tried to calm him down.

"Due to the fact that Mister Kakashi escaped under your watch, your punishment is to continue watching over our strange visitor until otherwise noted." informed Mustang to the extra irate child Alchemist.

"WHAT!" screamed Edward in dismay wed to sheer disbelief plastered over his features. "I don't wanna be babysitting NO stupid Cyclops!"

"That is an order Fullmetal." announced Mustang with an air of superiority in his voice. "And since there is nothing else to talk about... Dismissed!"

"But Colonel!" Ed protested while half stepping into the room.

"Dismissed!" Mustang repeated. "Unless you want to explain to Major Hawkeye as to why I haven't completed my paperwork yet."

A distinctive shudder ran through Edward's slender frame. "Uhh, no sir," the youth complained as he started to leave.

Grumbling, the blonde turned to leave the room, his shadow following.

Just as he reached the door, he turned back towards the busy Colonel. "I'll be back later, SIR."

Head buried behind a mountain of paper work, Mustang lifted his left hand in the air to give the glaring teenager a non-committed wave. "Next time I'd suggest you'd get some platform shoes so that I can see you better over the desk." he suggested with a hidden smile.

Before Edward could start yelling, his younger brother quickly grabbed his sibling and covered his mouth with a hand as he moved his brother away from the working Colonel.

Once they where gone, the Colonel started to laugh loudly. He did so enjoy teasing the elder brother; he was so easily irritated about his hight that Roy just had to state the reason as to why he was short on a regular basis.

As soon as he stopped laughing, Mustang sighed as he moved his sight away from the door and back to the papers in front of him.

As he started to sign his life away again, only one thought came to his mind.

It was one of him standing over a pile of burning paper laughing at the fact that he didn't have to do it anymore.

"Sir!" a voice called out again. "It is nice to see that you have almost finished your paperwork."

Suddenly he got another thought. It was one of him being chained to a desk with papers for him to sign that was a tall as the building that he was in and standing over him with a very large gun was Major Hawkeye with a maniacal grin on her face.

Putting his head back down, he started to sign again; his new expression one of total and utter defeat.

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Authors notes:

Not much to write about right now as I am still suffering from my cold and even now as I write this, I still have the after affects of my Migrane affecting me. (_I still feel awful, but at least it is not as bad as it was before._)

I wanted to finish this off quickly so that it could be posted on time for everyone to read. So if it is not up to standard please forgive me as I truly have not been well lately.

But as you know the best laid plans are away's late! So I am really sorry. Between work and being ill I have been really trying to get this out for all to read... and wouldn't you know it I had to post this twice to my beta reader to check. (_She's been really busy trying to find a new home._)

So unfortunatly I am going to leave off my little comment section for now. I am trying to get well. (_This stupid cold of mine has hit it's third month and is just starting to leave me now... I hope?_) I will return everyone's comments later.

Tora's Note: And as I'm in the middle of house hunting, I haven't had much time to beta! Ah.. the joys of stress...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter VI

Edward was pouting as he walked into the cell where his new friend the Cyclops was giggling like a school girl as he read his orange covered book.

A step behind him was Alphonse, also quite wary of this man; especially after the fight they went through before the Shinobi collapsed.

"Oi. Cyclops!" Ed called out abruptly. "Come on, we're taking you to a different location."

Kakashi moved his book aside to calmly gaze at the brothers and then ever so calmly moved his head back into the book. The man had torn his shirt sleeve off to wrap over his left eye which had given him a weird look.

Kakashi was wearing a pair of non-script overalls as his clothes had been confiscated. The only thing they could not get off him was his mask which had even the medical staff wondering how he even got it to get stuck on his face let alone how he could even eat.

"Listen Cyclops would you make a move on." Ed fumed over the man's inactivity. "I want to go back already."

"I'm sorry, but I can't just yet." he told them as he continued to read his book.

"Why not Mr Kakashi?" asked Alphonse politely.

"Well unless your little big brother can carry me, I don't think that it is going to work." the Shinobi told them calmly as smoke started to come out of the elder brother's ears. "You see at the moment, I am really having trouble trying to walk."

Al's armour was shaking with effort as it attempted to halt his big brother from attacking the Ninja.

"Tell you what," smiled Kakashi's eye. "I'll tell you a little secret to say sorry for calling you a little big brother."

"Oh and what would that be?" an irate Edward asked as Al's armour seemed to somehow gather what looked like sweat drops.

"Due to a certain manoeuvre I used before, I have got less strength than what you could properly use to manoeuvre." he informed the two seriously. "So, if you take your small size into account, I am really surprised that I can even move like this."

"YOU STUPID CYCLOPS!" Ed started to screech. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT I LOOK LIKE I WOULD FIT INTO A KEY HOLE!"

Kakashi put his book away as he looked seriously at the screaming alchemist, his right eye starting to take on a happy look.

Alphonse quickly grabbed a chalk from the pouch on the side of his leg and quickly drew an alchemy circle on the ground.

"You really fit into a Key hole?" Kakashi asked Edward. "I didn't know you were that small?"

"WHY YOU!" Ed screamed his outrage while throwing himself at the bemused Shinobi; Only to be stopped by a cage being transmuted around the white haired man.

"Damnit Al don't butt in!" accused Ed as he furiously spun around to face his younger brother.

"But brother, he's injured!" informed Alphonse. "If you hurt him, I don't think Colonel Mustang would like it very much."

"Stupid Cyclops!" muttered Edward under his breath as he spun towards the door. "Stupid Colonel… Stupid technicalities!"

Al seemed to be a little jittery as he lowered the cage around the captive Ninja.

"This is fun!" laughed Kakashi a happy gleam in his eye. "Can we do it again?"

"Do what again?" asked Alphonse curiously.

"Call your brother small!" he replied happily as the Fullmetal Alchemist seemed to pop a vein. "He bites so easily."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALLER THAN A RAISIN YOU STUPID BACKWATER WEIRDO!" fumed Ed as he attempted to scream the wall down around the Ninja's ears.

"Well if I was saying 'your brother' to our tin friend here, then It must be you." Kakashi drawled helpfully as the guards that 'were' outside of the room tried valiantly to hold back the cranky Alchemist.

Kakashi turned to look at the younger brother who was now sitting curled up in the corner.

"Tin friend." the boy was whimpering to himself as his armour seemed to carry an air of being very upset.

Outside the jail cell, a man was looking in with an amused look to his face as his glasses took on a flash of light.

He seemed to be having trouble in his bid not to snicker at the Elric's expense.

- - - - - - - -

"WHERE DID YOU DISAPPEAR TO?" the Gate Alchemist yelled at his strange green coloured companion.

"Training!" the figure replied happily as he gave the Alchemist a thumbs-up smile. Sparkles became evident with his grin. "One must obtain regular training if one must defeat the enemy quickly!"

The Alchemist took on a happy smile after he heard that last bit of information from the warrior.

"It is great to know that you are working hard in your bid to rid the world of evil!" the Alchemist smiled happily.

"And if I fail, I shall run around this very large village on my hands five hundered times!" the warrior replied with gusto in his tone and sparkles around his frame as he struck another pose.

At this, the Gate Alchemist started to wonder about his 'warrior's' sanity.

- - - - - - - -

"Thank you Colonel, for finishing your paperwork for once." Major Hawkeye smiled sweetly at her commanding officer.

Lying on the desk was one Colonel Mustang who seemed to be exhausted and looking decidedly upset. There where also noticeable tear stains on the Colonel's cheeks.

"Come now Colonel." Major Hawkeye chided Roy. "You're not still upset about that orange book that Mister Kakashi owns are you?"

"Why did you have to give it back?" sniffed the Colonel. "That book was…."

Shaking her head, the Major turned to face the door while her commanding officer sulked hoping like mad someone would come in soon.

Her prayers were answered (it seemed) as Lieutant Havoc came in, roughly slamming the door behind him.

"Sir we have a confirmed sighting of that new 'warrior' in the northern part of the city," he crispy informed them as he saluted.

Colonel Mustang quickly stood up. Tear stains missing.

"Quickly find and capture that warrior." Mustang ordered them as he muttered under his breath. "I hope he's got another book like the first warrior?"

"Colonel." growled Risa at her commanding officer. "This is not the time to be worrying about that stupid book!"

"Yes sir," saluted Havoc. "We will attempt to find the unknown warrior and the book… Uhh…"

Havoc's reply was short lived as Major Hawkeye silently put her hand over her holster. (1)

At that 'positive' motivation, the Lieutant quickly left in a dead run the door slamming behind him.

Colonel Mustang also stood up as he slipped on his gloves to leave.

"Sir. Permission to speak, Sir!" Risa asked saluting.

"Granted." nodded Mustang.

"Sir. Do you think it is wise to lead this group after the warrior in question, Sir?" Risa saluted the Colonel.

"Of course I do." Roy replied as he moved to leave.

"Sir. I do not believe that the capture of said individual is truly what you have in mind, Sir!" saluted Hawkeye seriously. (2)

"But Major, my services may be needed." complained Mustang with a whine in his voice.

"Sir. I think your time will be well used here, Sir!" replied Major Hawkeye in a tone that booked no nonsense. "Sir. I shall lead in your stead, Sir!"

Sitting back at the table, Roy dropped his head on the desk again to sulk again as Risa saluted to organise the troops.

"It's not fair." grumbled Mustang as he sulked. (3)

Kakashi sighed unhappily as he was stretchered into a building that was designed with iron bars over the windows and steel plated doors.

If only he wasn't feeling this weak. Then, all those stupid bars and doors would not even be able to stop him even once if he was feeling well.

However, the little Fullmetal Chibi had encased both of his hands in steel; so that he could not do any hand signals for his Jitsu's.

Though not overly worried by it, Kakashi hated the inconvenience of it all.

He also knew that though the Fullmetal Chibi and his brother where impressed with themselves for coming up with the idea of encasing his hands in steel. Little did they know that when Kakashi was up to full strength that the steel would mean so little to his Charka control.

All he needed to do now, was wait patiently for his strength to return and pray to Kami-sama that nothing went wrong or beyond his control.

So keeping up the guise of an injured Shinobi, who was in need of some help seemed like a good idea?

Plus it could also help him to catch up to his reading… As long as the boys would let him.

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Author's notes:

1 – Okay I do realise that I have been making Hawkeye out to be a bit on the serious side. But if you think about it… would you really want to make a woman who has been known to unload a clip of bullets while training her puppy, angry!

2 – Did you know that any soldier (_Within reason!_) can get away with insulting and pushing around a superior officer as long as they…

A- Get permission to speak

And 

B – Say Sir at the front and back of their sentences.

And how do I know this… dear old Dad used to get away with it all the time in the RAAF (_Royal Australian Air Force_) when he used to tell the superior officers that they where talking (_as he would put it!_) crap. (_Hey I caught him telling an officer that once when I was there picking him up one day from work!_)

3 – God I'm having fun teasing him! Grins happily

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Reviews! (_Including the one's that I missed last chapter._)

moonlight-reveries – Thanks for that!

Jon58840 – That is why he uses that bandana as an aide. Aides are also used to assist the individual in training or strengthen one's stamina in whatever field that that wish to strengthen. I do realise that he cannot turn it off. It's just that I looked at it from another perspective.

Tora Macaw – Trust you to say that!

Roy-Fan-33 – I'm a trying. I'm a trying!

Akio the Dragon Master – Paperwork is the unknown evil of all work! (Damn it to the abyss!) But on another note: I am feeling way better now. Thanks.

CuriousDreamWeaver – I just wrote some more… Look out world here comes some… weirdo in green with orange caterpillars on his legs!

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Okay I know this is a strange sort of chapter, but I have really being having fun down this end…

I sort of got my second youngest sister to get her knickers in a knot, because I wouldn't do something she could have done for my four yr old Nephew easily.

Hey she had the instructions with her… I don't even know why she was demanding me to sort out the toy for her to begin with? She's been in a stupid mood all week since that incident… trying to pick fights with almost everyone in the house ever since. (_Which is mainly the reason why Dad keeps on calling her the 'Angry Ant'?_)

Yours truly however can't stop laughing… (_I'm always laughing about some stupid thing or another._)

(So is Tora. Heck, I _know_ this family! LOL)

Which is why it is so short, I just have to go into the main house to have a laugh with the rest of the lunatics (_Family_) about the stupidity of it all.

Will try and curb my amusement for next time… I hope?

The madness decends! (Tora)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter VII

The Northern end of Central was an industrial area, complete with factories and workshops of all descriptions.

And being that it was a weekend, the area was almost empty. Much like that of a ghost town; it's silence broken by the sound of the military vehicles moving into the main plaza in the vicinity.

It was only when the vehicles stopped that an entire troop of military soldiers came filtering out of the trucks to line up in the middle of plaza ready to receive orders from their blond haired commander.

What citizens that where in the area watched in awe as the female commander commanded her assigned troops.

Standing calmly beside two men, the trio were a force to be feared.

One was known for his brute yet 'genteel' strength and the ability to shrug off a shirt faster than that of a magician at a magic show. (Also because of his endless supply of 'sparkles,' that was guaranteed to deliver anyone into the realms of madness for trying to figure them out!)

On another note, the other had a quick intellect and was a fast draw with both his knives and his photos. Both were as deadly as the other.

"Third squad! You are to accompany Major Hughes. Fifth squad! Major Armstrong will be your team leader." Risa yelled out over the troops. "And Seventh squad! You are with me."

Major Hughes walked one step in front of Hawkeye and took on an official pose.

"Your task is to find and capture a man who origins are unlike any that you have seen before in Central." Hughes called out thus bringing a few confused faces to appear amongst the troops. "I cannot give you anymore information but to trust in the command of your team leaders!"

"Fall out and report to your assigned leader for more instructions!" Risa yelled. "Seventh squad follow me!"

As the troops received their individual orders, a green menace was watching them with a certain interest while his companion watched with hatred in his eyes.

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"That's the enemy army." the Gate Alchemist pointed out to his warrior. "Do not trust them, as they are known for their deceit."

"Thanks for the warning." replied the warrior dryly. "Perhaps it is time I went down to introduce myself."

The Gate Alchemist turned sharply to his companion, but he had already disappeared in a burst of smoke.

Looking back at the assembled troops in the square, he knew that the unbelievers in the square did not stand a chance.

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The squads were about to head out in their assigned areas, when suddenly they where set on with a large smoke cloud in the middle of the plaza.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" A loud voice called out as the smoke started to clear.

When the smoke finally dissipated, what it revealed was the very warrior that they had been sent to capture.

The only thing that was similar to the first warrior that they already had in custody was the jacket which he left unzipped and the shoes.

Everything else was completely different, including the way he set his posture.

The man wore a green spandex suit with orange leg-warmers on wed to an orange bandana tied around his waist with the metallic design on the front.

His pitch black hair was that of a bowl cut and his face was framed by the largest black eyebrows anyone had ever seen.

The 'pose' he had taken when the smoke cleared was of one that had him balancing on one leg, the other leg wrapped around the first. His right hand palm up in the air and the left hand was circled around his left eye.

He had a grin on him that seemed to produce sparkles around him that could give Armstrong a run for his money.

"YOSH!" He yelled with gusto. "Prepare yourselves villains!"

The surrounding troops quickly moved their weapons to bear on the … crazed … figure.

"And what would your name be?" Hughes asked slyly.

"I am the great green beast of Konoha!" The man replied proudly as he pointed to himself with a smile, sparkles everywhere. "Maito Gai."

"Well them Mr Maito Gai," Hawkeye told him seriously. "I recommend that you surrender yourself otherwise our troops have orders to take you into custody."

"We already have one of your fellow Konoha soldiers in custody." Hughes told him straight. "I suggest you follow his lead."

"You have a Shinobi from Konoha in bondage!" Gai replied angrily. "YOSH! I shall rescue yon unfortunate individual from your evil clutches!"

"Then you shall first have to get through me!" Armstrong called out as he ripped his shirt off in his bid to show of his muscles which in turn set of another lot of sparkles as he posed to show of his massive bulges.

"A challenger is it?" this green monstrosity called out as he gave himself a new pose complete with some more sparkles. "Well two can play that game."

"We shall see who will win this match!" replied Armstrong in a new pose that was making his muscle and sparkles show up more.

"You shall not best me!" answered Gai in another pose complete with more of those annoying sparkles. "I am a master in the art of Taijitsu; you will not defeat me!" (1 + 2)

"Enough already!" called out Hawkeye fully intending on stopping this stupidity while it was still in its early stages. "You are under arrest Mr Maito Gai. Surrender while you still have a chance."

"Denied!" the green monstrosity told her with a grin and more of those annoying sparkles that were making the surrounding soldiers look ill.

"Allow me Major Hawkeye." Armstrong told her with another annoying pose that made him flex his muscles again.

"And who do I have the pleasure of defeating?" responded Gai as he took on a stance that had one hand behind the small of his back and the other hand in front of him as if ready to motion Armstrong into action.

"I am Major Alex Louis Armstrong! Also known as the Strong-arm Alchemist." replied the muscle bound soldier while happily posing for more of those annoying sparkles.

The soldiers in the area were no fools, they ran for their lives to get behind the Strong-arm Alchemist and away from what ever damage was about to occur.

"Take your best shot Alchemist-san." smiled the abnormal Shinobi as he took up a fighting stance.

"Your funeral." muttered Hughes as he watched Armstrong plough his fist into the ground causing the ground to spike up after the agile Ninja who was moving quickly to get away from the changing ground.

"Interesting technique." marvelled Gai as he crossed his arms in mock contemplation.

"Then try this!" called out Armstrong as he punched a chunk of bitumen at the green clad man.

As the bitumen flew towards the Ninja, it was enveloped by the white lighting of Alchemic powers to transform into a very sharp missile.

Gai who in the beginning of the 'Bitumen's' flight; had thought nothing of this 'uncool' looking 'rocks' movement towards him.

So he had not moved a muscle in his bid to 'show off' his superior strength against this Alchemist who was sporting a pair of steal gauntlets.

It was only when it was just near his position did he realise that it had changed form into that really nasty spiked weapon that he did 'finally' try to move out of its way.

Swiftly, He lept aside; but not before it hit his left shoulder tearing up both clothes and muscle in its path.

"Hey that's cheating," Gai retorted as he jumped a bit further away; a disgusted look on his face.

"It's not cheating." answered Armstrong as he threw a second chunk of bitumen in the air. "This is Alchemy!"

At the word 'Alchemy' Armstrong hit his airborne projectile towards Gai.

Gai was prepared this time and had already moved away from the direction that the projectile was headed.

"Amazing!" Hughes whistled in admiration as he watched Armstrong hit chunks of road-base at their quarry and their 'quarry's' speed in avoiding the attacks.

Finally after a few minutes of this … 'Run-a-round'… Did Major Hawkeye give the order to open fire on the green menace.

Unfortunately, Gai had already been made aware of the various firearms that the military was known to use by that of the Gate Alchemist.

"And with the addition of your warriors," Gai called out as he dodged another projectile. "I bid you farewell!"

As the soldiers took aim, Gai suddenly disappeared.

"Where did he go?" a soldier quickly called out. "He just vanished."

"Quick, scout the area and locate that man!" Risa ordered the surrounding troops. "Do not engage… I repeat… Do not engage. Report back to me as soon as you are made aware of his presence."

The soldiers quickly saluted and ran off in their bid to obey the dangerous Major.

Hughes quickly walked over to where the 'man' had been standing before he had disappeared.

"Risa.." he called over to the blonde Major. "...you might want to put a request in with the Colonel that all teams that go out to hunt down that green man are accompanied by at least one to two Alchemists."

"Why is that?" Armstrong asked.

"He seems to be powerful… Yes," Maes explained. "But he also seems to have no idea as to how the power that the Alchemist weld even work."

"I shall pass that on." agreed Risa as she looked around the roof tops.

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The Gate Alchemist was overjoyed, disappointed and confused.

He was pleased that his warrior had taken up the challenge of fighting the heathens so early.

The only problem being that his warrior was now injured due to his eagerness to challenge the unholy group called the State and was now in his hide-out in the special training room going through exercises that would make that muscle bound oaf 'Armstrong' faint in exhaustion.

Sighing, he knew now he would have to wait until his warrior was healed enough to go and have another go.

"Oh come-on!" an exhausted voice called out. "All I want to do is read! I can't even escape now even if I wanted to so what's the problem?"

"That stupid book for one you stupid Cyclops!" a young male voice yelled back. "What kind of a pervert are you that you have to read that disgusting book in the first place?"

"Hey it's my book that all that matters." the first voice yelled. "That one was signed by the author as well. So that makes it special!"

"I don't care." the second voice replied with an evil tone. "I think I might put it in a safe place. That way if you escape I think that I might burn it."

"I don't think you will." a smug voice replied calmly. "It's a book and I know that you would think burning even one book to be sacrilege."

"Don't be so sure!" the evil tone in the second voice ground out.

In the back ground a lighter could be heard.

"BROTHER WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" a young metallic voice called out in alarm. "PUT THAT BOOK DOWN AND PUT THAT LIGHTER OUT."

"But Al it is a…" a panicked second voice replied.

"IT IS NOT YOUR BOOK! IT BELONGS TO MISTER KAKASHI SO GIVE IT BACK!" an angry metallic voice yelled out.

In the back ground a sound was heard.

The sound of laughter as two brothers started to argue.

And if you listen carefully you might hear a book being turned as the brothers continued their screaming fits.

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Author's notes:

1 – Help! I do not know how to spell Taijitsu. (_I was sort of guessing the spelling on it as my grasp of the Japanese Language is rather impaired. Did I get it right?_)

2 – Ladies and Gentlemen start your betting on the… Who can produce the most sparkles? Gai or Armstrong? As I fully intend on getting those two to have a 'sparkle' competition! I made it short now, but just you wait until I get through with what I have planned for them in later chapters. (_It's not going to show up in the next chapter as I want to give everyone a chance to have a fair go._)

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Reviews...

CuriousDreamWeaver - I noticed that too! I wonder if the Gate Alchemist could be confused enough to wear a green spandex uniform?... NAH! One green catapiller at a time please!

moonlight-reveries - I'M TRYING! HONEST! It's just that I have to work. Pwease forgwive me! (_Tries to look innocent and fails._)

Rekka'Zaal - I'll agree with that!

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Sorry everyone on being late. But I have been working very hard over here at the moment and I have also been busy with family, friends and my anime club at the moment. (_I'm an Agency Carer and I have to work when I can get it, plus my club is getting busy again –election time again- and my Dad is turning 60; so I have been a busy little bugger… Sorry._)

Also I've been having fun with fish lately. Two of my fish died from the cold weather. (_The heater that I had for them had only just broken and I was going to get it fixed as soon as I can… but low and behold the next thing I know they had gone._) So I got two new ones. One of my new fish (_Who I had named Donk_) however decided to go Kamikaze had jumped out of the tank… (_Talk about being properly named!_) I just got another one to replace him, so I am hoping that the new one will survive.

Okay. Just as a warning now. It might be as long as two weeks again before I send out my next chapter. (_I've just been too damned busy to even find the time to write, let alone sleep._)

But I'm working on it!

But on another note… Happy birthday Honebar. (_I hope you have a wonderful birthday!_)

Sorry from Tora, your ever loving beta as well. My family is getting ready to move, so I'm pretty busy myself..


	8. Apologies

Hello Everyone!

Well… I said I wouldn't do this but I am… I have to apologise as I am unable to post my next chapter just yet.

You see I hit a few problems…

First problem…

My poor beta reader is moving. (_And I promised to help._) But that is not the reason for me being late. I want to give her a chance to get herself and her family settled before I hand over my story to be beta'd. (_Sorry but I think it would be kinda hard for me to somehow 'step' over a friend who had offered to beta for me and just post my story._)

I know that it is proberly a stupid reason, but in my case I think it is a valid reason.

Second problem…

Work... I have been getting a lot of jobs lately from my Agency Carer's job that I have been accually having trouble trying to not only spend time with my family, friends, dealing with my Animation Club, writing and trying to find the time to sleep at the same time.

And to top it off my Animation Club has re-elected me again. (_Out of all of the votes I got the most… as in 'everyone' in the club voted me back._) I also now have to organise an archive of all of the clubs suggestions, complaints, incident report forms and other assorted writings.

Also being an Aged Care Worker I do tend to come home slightly drained and feeling sore. If anyone ever says that old people are harmless don't believe them… I have got so many scars down my arms because of them. (_Most of the scars are from me trying to stop them from attacking visitors, other residents and staff as I specialised in working in a dementia specific unit._)

I'm also trying to save up to get a new car. (_My old car decided to die on me… stupid thing._) So I have been trying to take up a second job. (_Might have one soon, I hope._)

I know that I am making excuses, but I thought that I would explain to everyone as to why I am having trouble trying to post not just one story but two. (_FMA world Vs Kakashi and Crimson Darkness._)

But I am working on it. All I am asking for is a bit of understanding and a please forgive me for being late.

It may seem like I tend to give myself a lot to do, but I tend to look at it in another way. This way I am not causing too much trouble for a while.

Inui's Bastard Love Child.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter VIII

Mustang was annoyed.

Not only had his troops failed to find the Gate Alchemist, but they had also failed to capture what was reported to be some sort of spandex wearing, green loving, masochistic loving lunatic that had his troops in an uproar about something to do with posing and sparkles.

So to try and gain some sort of insight about this green clad muscle bound oaf, he decided to go straight to the source of the problem…

Or the next best thing he had.

The Ninja Kakashi.

But unfortunately, that is where the problem started to get infuriating.

For sitting in the chair across from him was the man in question, who was happily sitting there giggling at the book in front of him; his right eye crinkled in a gleeful expression.

The Shinobi was wearing nothing more than a pair of overalls that one would normally see on a painter. One of the legs of the overalls had been torn off and was tied around the man's head covering the left eye.

Also if you could count the fact that the Elric brothers had the man sitting on a stone chair with his legs from the knees down encased in stone, his left hand was also encased in stone.

Just the sight of this mismatched ninja in torn up clothes, attached to a stone chair and a hand encased in stone seemed to be a tad on the weird side.

And what really annoyed Mustang was the fact that the NINJA in question had that 'book' and no sign of a blood nose was evident.

Deciding to put that 'major' detail aside for the moment, Roy thought it best if he could 'try' and concentrate his efforts into getting as much information on this Maito Gai.

All Mustang knew about this strange man, was that he called himself the 'great' green beast of Konoha.

In the room with him was his ever faithful shadow Major Hawkeye, the Elric brothers and two soldiers.

"Mister Kakashi. All we want to know is how to stop this man who is calling himself a green menace from the same place that you are from," questioned Hawkeye.

"I'd like to suggest that you burn his book," huffed the older Elric.

"Ni-san!" ground out an irate suit of armour beside him.

Edward's shoulders bunched up as if a child had just been told not to touch a hot stove.

"But Al," wined Edward as he turned to look as his armour plated brother. "You know that book is just some perverted book from where ever he comes from."

"I don't care brother," the younger brother told him. "It still belongs to mister Kakashi."

Roy walked in front of the stone encased Shinobi.

"I take it that there would be no way that you would help us in apprehending this individual named Maito Gai?" demanded Mustang angrily.

Kakashi put his book down to regard the Colonel. His right eye held a serious look to it.

"That is correct," the ninja told him flatly. "But I will tell you this… If I where you I would get the medical staff on stand-by."

"Is he that dangerous?" whistled Hughes.

"No, just annoying," smirked the ninja as his visible eye gleamed happily at them.

"Then our talk is over," announced Roy as he turned to leave. "Fullmetal, I leave him back in your care again."

"Oh and Colonel one more thing I think you should know!" Kakashi called out urgently.

"And what would that be?" Roy muttered.

The silver haired Shinobi gave a happy smile as he pointed towards the Colonels middrift.

"Your fly is open," the ninja told him helpfully with the tone of a playful child.

Red faced the Colonel quickly stormed out with the Shinobi laughing in his bid to leave with what dignity he had left.

As soon as Mustang turned the corner he quickly moved to check his 'fly'.

Only one problem; it was not even open to begin with.

"Damn that man," cursed Mustang as he moved to leave with his staff in hot pursuit.

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Meanwhile, on a train on the way to Central...

An unknown terror was approaching; terror that was spelt with a capital W and ended with a letter H. (1)

A terror that was both sweet like a blue wren; yet deadly like a king brown snake. (2)

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Kakashi quickly looked around the room.

The brothers had left and so had the soldiers leaving Kakashi alone for the night.

Looking to his left was an empty bottle and a blanket within arms reach. (3)

His visible eye gleamed happily as he released the Jitsu he was using to hide his current state of being.

When it disappeared, it revealed Kakashi to be free of the stone which was in rubble around his feet.

Estimating that he would have about 30 minutes before the next 'check', he quickly moved into action. Gathering the remaining pieces of rubble, he swiftly moved to put the pieces outside.

And by outside, it meant that Kakashi was throwing it over to the other side of the parade ground. (4)

Looking outside, he noticed that the one called Havoc was trying to talk to a girl in an army uniform.

He also noted that there was something or something's moving in the window beside the two.

If it was a bit lighter, Kakashi would have been able to make out who it was over there. But the light was out in the room belonging to the window and the Ninja was glad he could just make out just a few of the 'shadows.'

Smiling, Kakashi grabbed one of the smaller rocks and threw it over to the pair making it smash the glass behind them.

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"Really, you mean that you'll take me to see that play?" the female soldier asked shyly. "I've always wanted to see 'The Tales of Conga!'" (5)

Havoc smiled for once. He may actually have a date for once in his life that was not a reject of the Colonels.

It was also at that moment, that the window beside them smashed; revealing Breda, Fury, Falman, Hawkeye and Armstrong who seemed to be following the poor man around.

"Uhh! What are you guy's doing?" Havoc asked wide-eyed as he stared at the 'visitors.'

"We where trying to see if you would be a true gentleman!" Armstrong sparkled happily at the Lieutant. "If you were not, I was going to have to show you how to be with the techniques passed down in the Armstrong family for generations."

At that particular moment, Armstrong just 'had' to take his shirt off, while Havoc's date by this time 'had' started to flee the doomed soldier who was being berated by the Alchemist.

"Eh!" Havoc turned to his running date. "Conga!"

"It's alright Havoc, there is always next time. Who knows you may find a better date soon?" Hawkeye told him in her bid to cheer the poor man. "Come on, what do you say?"

"Conga!" whimpered Havoc sadly. (6)

"Fury, Falman take the Lieutant home," Hawkeye requested as she watched the man in question just repeat the one word over and over.

"Conga!"

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Hearing someone at the door, Kakashi quickly moved to his 'seat' and reinstated the Jitsu to hide the state of his chair before quickly grabbing his book at a different page.

Giggling again as he started to read his favourite story, he pretended that he did not see the smaller of the Elric brothers move in quietly.

In his hands the child had another blanket.

"The weather is said to be getting colder lately, so I thought that I would give you another blanket for awhile... just in case," the Fullmetal Alchemist told him quietly.

Kakashi put his book down carefully as he reached out to take the blanket.

"Thankyou," he smiled. "Do you mind if I as a question?"

"Depends on the question," replied Ed.

"Where is my gear?" the white haired Shinobi asked curiously.

"Honestly I wouldn't have a clue," smiled Ed. "Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you. But you should know that anyway wouldn't you?"

"It was a possibility. That's all," laughed Kakashi, his eye taking on a happy look.

"Well, I'll be seeing you then tomorrow morning," Ed waved as he turned to leave. "I'm sure that the guards wouldn't mind talking to you if you want someone to talk to in the middle of the night."

"Thankyou," nodded Kakashi as he watched Ed leave. "But I have my book and that's enough."

"Pervert!" grunted Elric as he walked out.

"Take's one to know one child," Kakashi called out to the child's retreating form.

As Ed walked out, Kakashi could have sworn he saw Ed's hackles rising as the child grumbled down the corridor

Kakashi's laughter heralding the Alchemist's departure from his cell.

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Meanwhile in another part of town...

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"Everyone, I want you to take down every detail you come across in this room for future reference," Hughes called out to his team of investigators.

"Yes Sir!" his team of soldiers saluted as they moved methodically around the room taking notes, photos and samples of the surrounding area.

"Where are you?" ground out Hughes in an angry voice as he looked around the room in disgust.

The room in question was a hideout that was once owned by the Gate Alchemist by the looks of it.

In one corner of the room, was an alchemy array of the likes Hughes had never seen before complete with bloody marks.

The room also had a foul stench of decaying flesh and arid chemicals.

"I only hope I can catch that manic soon," he whispered to himself as he took a note book from a passing soldier.

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The Gate Alchemist was furious.

That lunatic of a warrior of his, had just run off in his bid to run around the 'village' as the warrior had put it.

And to make matters worse, the warrior had only bandaged his wounds just recently.

From current estimates, the Gate Alchemist had noticed that the warrior had already run the entire length around Central about twice and was still in no bid to calm down as of yet.

But what got the Alchemist in question angry, was the fact that the warrior wanted to have a 'COOL' training session. Whatever that meant.

The attitude of the warrior was starting to get on the Gate Alchemist's nerves. Well that and the sparkles.

Plus, if you could count the fact that the Gate Alchemist had seen the Holy Warrior in question holding a posing contest with the mirror.

Sometimes, it just did not pay to be the smarts of this 'chicken outfit' thought the Alchemist as he turned to continue his studies.

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Authors Notes:

1 – Well I'm sure everyone can 'guess' what is coming. Honebar… I hope you are going to enjoy the coming story of DOOM! (_And for those people that know my name… It does not mean ME!_)

2 – Over here we have some of the world most venomous snakes and topping that list is the King Brown snake that is well known for being highly poisonous and a TAD aggressive. (_Unless you're my sister. Who has been known to pick them up as a child; while declaring them her pet 'worm'!_)

3 – Trust me. You do not want to know what the bottle is for! (_Trade secret…_) INUI JUICE! (Tora)

4 – I always remember a holding cell being near the parade ground at my Mum's barracks. I think it also had something to do with the fact that the Military Police had an office and stockade near the front of the base. (_To help them better manage the grounds and front gates is the reason._) And of course the Parade ground is always at the front so that when the Soldiers Family and the military visitors came they did not have to 'walk' through the entire base to get to the desired area which would have made a breach of security more likely. (_The MP's seemed to give up with my family. I think it had something to do with the fact that my brother, three sisters and I used to run riot anyway… I do remember getting banned from going anywhere near the tank depo for awhile. It's not my fault they left the keys in the ignition!_)

5 – Okay I know that there is nothing called 'The Tales of Conga!' I am just sort of using a reference from a show that used to be shown over here called the 'Late Show' by a group of Australian comedians called the 'D-Generation.' Tora knows what skit I am writing about. (Scary, isn't it?) Tora.

6 – Okay so I'm in a 'Conga!' mood, but for those of you who don't know the joke… Imagine a school type of quiz show that people would have played in the days of Black & White TV. Let's just say that the D-Generation crew had one character in 'their' team (_Santo._) who just had to reply to all of the questions they where given as 'Conga!'

Here is what basically happened… (_Shortened._)

Announcer… What is the capital of Spain?

Santo… Conga!

Announcer… What is the name of the river that runs through Egypt?

Santo… Conga!

Announcer… Spell Burlesque?

Santo… C. O. N…

-Other two team members hit Santo in their bid to shut him up-

Other two members of the team… B. U. R. L. ske.)

Let's just say it is a favourite saying amongst myself and a few of my friends (_Who know what I am talking about._) at the moment. (CONGA!)

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Review time!

Roy-Fan-33 – Yep I will agree… Life is hard. But when life gives you spades go for the clubs instead. (_Or is that diamonds? Oh well who ever said I was operating on a full deck was proberly lying._)

Tora Macaw – Not a problem. I don't mind helping. (_But I believe you know that already by now._)

Rekka'Zaal – Thanks for that. I am still going to try my hardest to get the next chapter out though. (I have been getting just a tad tooooo busy at the moment with my new agency. The old one started to get dishonest. Don't Ask!)

Chakashi329 – Thank you. I am glad you like it. I sorta had to try hard to get this lot written down. Gonna have to try again.

Silvermoonphantom – Me too. I sorta had just a bit too much fun with that chapter. But same thing again. I am glad you liked it.

Alenia Shadows – No problems there at all? WHAT! How do you have fun? (_Sorry mad moment._)

Ash892 – So far it seems that Armstrong will win… Heck I just hope just one of them wins instead of the both of them and I am glad you are enjoying it.

Miracleflame-alchermist147 – Your welcome. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

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Well there we have it, FINALLY. I do apologise for it being late coming out but I have been really busy. (_Story of my life!_)

I've helped Tora move and now that this problem is behind me I am now facing the prospect of being the new club secretary of my anime club.

And lets just say a few things need to be organised first before I can take over completely. (_Then I'm really in trouble!_) I did tell them to get everything organised first before I took over, but so far it looks like I am going to have to 'overhaul' the position before it is truly organised.

Thankyou again everyone who has read this and for your support and understanding for me being late in updating; I can't say I wont do it again as it does look like it is about to happen once more. (_I am trying though._)

I know that I have organised to have the next weekend off but I already have a few friends that I haven't been able to see in awhile are already trying to 'book' themselves into my free timeslot. (_So to speak._)

Oh well can't win, but lets have a giggle about it anyway. Being on a lack of sleep high does tend to do strange things they say… (_But it does tend to be more fun in the meantime._)

Thanks again everyone and I hope to have the next chapter out as soon as I so possibly can.

_Tora has finished moving... sort of... got fences to build now... (Enjoy your new home Tora!)_


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter IX**

Life in the office was getting boring. Mustang hated to work on his so called paper work that Risa always 'had' to give him.

Just as he was starting to contemplate burning the pile again, Roy could just make out a series of voice coming from outside his window.

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"Come-on Edward!" a voice whined. "It's only a fair."

"No, I am not going to some stupid fair!" a young male voice seemed to argue. "I have other more important things to do other than listen to your stupid prattle about how cute your daughter is or as to what to do in some dumb fair!"

"Then I take it you've only gone to the fairs at your hometown?" the first voice proclaimed.

"Hughes, what's that got to do with it?" the second voice complained.

"This fair is a LOT different than those plain old country fairs," exclaimed Hughes. "There are different pavilions that show off various produces, companies and displays. Also there are games, tests of skills and other various ways to have fun."

"So? What has that got to do with guarding that stupid Cyclops or searching for the philosopher's stone?" the voice proclaimed with an annoyed air.

"Absolutely nothing!" Hughes voice had proclaimed loudly in a happy voice. "Let's go."

Then, before the second voice could say anything, there was a sound of someone being dragged.

"Oh and did I mention that I was also going to bring my little darling sweet daughter along?" the voice of Hughes added as it faded off into the background in amongst the screaming of 'NO!' coming from Edward.

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Looking outside, Mustang quickly spotted Fullmetal being dragged away by a certain family loving lunatic.

But just as he was about to bring his head back inside, he noticed something out of place in the parade grounds.

There seemed to be a fair amount of rocks littering it in various places. (1)

It was then he decided to begin another watch of the compound. Only this time, not for looking out for females walking around but for anything that may contribute to the mysterious rock collecting.

Heck any excuse to get out of paperwork.

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At that particular moment, a certain train had just pulled up; breaks screeching and clouds of smoke being dispersed in the air.

As the passengers disembarked, a young lady with blonde hair and a white summer dress carrying a medium sized suitcase walked off.

While the said lady was looking every inch the beautiful woman, she was also holding a air of being a tad… boyish.

And, it seemed that something was getting up her just a tad upset. This could also be the reason as to why she quickly pulled out of her suitcase a metre long spanner that demanded instant respect.

As the terminal patrons gave this woman a wide berth, it was plainly clear that 'no one' wanted to upset this particular young lady.

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"Edo-Nii-Chan!" came a young girls scream as a certain long suffering alchemist was being dragged by Major Hughes into his home so that they could pick up his little girl.

Forcing a smile on his face, Edward turned towards the little girl who was being carried by her doddering father.

"Yes Elisa?" asked Ed gingerly.

"You wanna green drink when we get there?" the little girl asked curiously.

"Of course he would want a green drink just like you dear," smiled Hughes at his daughter; he then turned to face Edward with an evil glare as if daring Ed to cross him. "Wouldn't you Edward!"

"Uhhh! Sure I would love to have some with you," Ed stammered very quickly. "Just one question…,"

"Of course," the now smiling Major replied.

"What is this 'Green Drink'?" queried Edward.

"Oh it is just a milkshake that is green," Maes replied smiling with his very happy daughter.

"Milkshake … as in … milk?" Ed asked wide-eyed. "As in coming from the aft end of a cow?"

"That's right and it's green because it is flavoured with a peppermint or spearmint flavouring which is green," explained Hughes to the pale alchemist. "And you are going to enjoy it, are you not?" (2)

Edward started to shrink back at the Major's words which was veiled with a most deadly threat and the disgust of the thought of drinking that horrid white stuff called milk as they continued to walk towards the 'impending doom!"

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Once at the fair, Ed actually had to admit to enjoying the carnival. But he was going to be damned if he let anybody find out about it!

There where all sorts of things going on at once.

He could see various things going on around the place, from haunted houses to toffee apple stands. Everything was a mix of colourful sights, interesting and different smells and that of normal to strange noises.

It was just so… so... different.

It was also when he finally got to meet this strange person from the same world as that perverted book-loving bastard.

And unfortunately, he just had to enter the same contest that Armstrong just 'SO' had to enter as well.

That only left one thing on all of the surrounding crowd's minds….

"Oh lord come and save us!"

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"Come one! Come all!" the contest manager yelled loudly over the crowd. "Dare you face the wondered rivals of strength? Do you dare show the world as to how well you have trained in life?" (3)

"Are you going to join in, Fullmetal," a large deep sounding voice asked gracefully.

Sweat drops formed on Ed's face. "Oh no! Please don't let it be him… Please oh Kami-sama… please don't let it be him!" he mumbled as he turned his head shakily.

As the small alchemist turned around, a very large man in military clothes came into his vision; A man with only one tuff of hair on his head covered in those annoying sparkles.

"I'm doomed!" groaned Edward with a woebegone expression.

"Come now child!" the irksome Major called out happily. "Don't you want to see me show of as to how muscular and perfect that I am?"

"Yosh! And that person will be I!" a voice cried out as a puff of smoke blew out suddenly showing a green spandex wearing, bowl haircut and orange legging man who was pulling a most ridiculous pose. "I the Great Green Beast of Konoha... I Maito Gai shall challenge you!"

"YARGHH!!! Not another one!" screamed Edward as he cringed badly.

"Everyone, do you hear that! We have finally got someone to go against the Strong-arm alchemist!" the contest manager yelled out. "Gather round and witness the spectacular contest of muscles... strength and of course the natural beauty of man!"

Edward started to turn white as he attempted to try and run away; only to be caught and held in a death grip by Major Armstrong.

"Come now Fullmetal. Come watch as I dominate the field against this misguided individual," sparkled the Major.

"Humph! It is I who shall triumph!" crowed the one called Gai while pulling another bad pose.

All around this, the crowd that was previously passing by stopped to watch the scene unfolding.

Edward looked around for Major Hughes but the man was no longer there and neither was his daughter and the first thought that went through Fullmetal's head was...

-You bastard Hughes! Take me with you!-

Forced against his will, Edward was made to watch the two gung-ho lunatics pose one after the other.

Each pose brought out more sparkles than the next.

The crowd that had stopped to watch were horrified and stuck to the spot watching the two 'fight' in a battle of poses and sparkles.

And the more they 'duelled', the more sparkles became evident.

In the background, children were heard screaming as the surrounding crowd started to take on soul-less and demented expressions of pure fright. One child was even heard calling out to their Mommy.

"Mommy... Make them stop! Please make them stop Mommy!" the upset child called out.

Even the contest manager was stuck with a horrid expression of disbelief at the two of the contestants.

The maniacal contest of madness finally came to a halt after a stunned green clad Gai admitted defeat to the muscle bound Major.

The crowd erupted in cheers at the news. Not because it had finally procured a winner, but because it was finally over.

"You win this time! But next time I shall win!" the green clad lunatic proclaimed loudly before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

As the crowd 'ran for the hills', Edward was also looking for somewhere to escape to quickly before the Strong-arm Alchemist found him again.

Just as he was about to make a run for it, Major Hughes showed up with a contingent of armed soldiers.

"Where is the green warrior?" demanded Maes. "Don't tell me he got away again!"

"He fought valiantly, but I prevailed against him," laughed Armstrong happily, his sparkles at maximum.

Hughes turned his head to try and deflect the sparkles, with little success.

"Ed, did you see where he went?" asked Major Hughes.

"No, the bastard disappeared just like that pervert book loving Cyclops can," explained Edward angrily while glaring blazing daggers of doom at the muscle bound Major.

"Well, you'd better return to base as I'm sure that the Colonel would like a report as to what has been going on down here," stated Hughes as he turned to direct his troops to explore the surrounding area for clues; grumbling non stop about fire starting Colonels and brainless deranged morons who had no reason to exist the entire time.

As Ed was about to leave, Hughes quickly ran up and handed him a cup of something. The smell coming from it was sickly sweet.

"What is this?" enquired Edward.

"Green milkshake," smiled the Major innocently. "Elisia was concerned that you might not have had one. So there you go and enjoy."

As Major Hughes left, he started to snicker at Ed as he started to rant on how he was not going to drink the juice of some freshly squeezed cow.

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Meanwhile, a certain Gate Alchemist was furious at his holy warrior. The stupid oaf just had to go into that stupid contest.

To make matters worse, all the warrior had done afterwards was run around the city on his hands... twice.

His patience gone, the Gate Alchemist was already planning for another 'Gate' and this time he was determined to make it work!

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1 – Just so you know. Parade grounds are supposed to remain spotless and have an even ground so that the commanders on their podiums can better view their soldiers performances. (_Unless there has been another alchemist duel… dread the thought. _)

2 – I was trying to think of something harmless that little Elisa could use to torment poor Ed with, when I remembered how my nephew would always demand to the shop assistants that would be making him a milkshake that he would want a 'green drink' as that one always looked the best colour. (_It's amazing at how many shop assistants look at you when you ask for it._)

3 - A long time past in outback Australia it was common to find carnivals where the contestants would try and out-do the carnival's contests of strength... (_The contest where just normally that of boxing challenges._) I just sort of changed the setting a little bit to suit the stories need.

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_Authors Note: _

Hello everyone. I'm back again and I am sorry for the wait. You see I've been kinda busy.

But I'll give you some good news first.

I just got myself a new job that pays quite well and that I don't have to travel over an hour to get to! Ain't that great! (_But I've been sorta stuck doing a lot of night-shifts at the moment which are quite long, so the majority of the days have been spent sleeping or trying to get my sleeping pattern to an almost normal routine, which has been a small nightmare at the moment._)

Another reason as to why I've been having trouble trying to update is because one of the main computers in the household had decided to play funny buggers, and to make matters worse it was the one that my family use to hook up to the internet. (_Joy ain't it._)

Our main computer just kept on breaking down. You see one of our 'lovely' neighbours thought that it would be okay to send over a message via the internet asking us a question… Let's just say that said messages also contained a very nasty computer virus which infected my sister computer so badly that she had to reboot and reprogram her computer. (_Probably a good thing that she is a computer programmer wouldn't you say?_)

Another reason is that my family recently came across a Magpie chick that has fallen out of its nest; a Magpie is a bird native to Australia with black and white markings. Known for it aggressive tendencies when it is nesting. (_These birds have been known to poke the eyes out of people if they do not head their warnings. TRUE!_)

The only way we know of over here to stop them from swooping is to 'try' and befriend them… Hence some people feed them bribes. (_So to speak._) It's amazing what a little food can do to befriend a flock of birds.

(I have my own hungry clan that demand food every day.. Tora)

My family are currently spending a fair bit of time trying to get the poor little girl (_Yes it is a female Magpie._) strong enough to fly off with her family which still come around. (_The baby Magpie's father actually helps us to feed her still when we leave her outside under close watch from cats._) But she is starting to come into her real feathers and is proving to be a bit of a sook. (_It will be sad to see her go, but she has to rejoin her family group._)

Also as a bit of weird note to it. I have just recently been having to have to go to the dentist a fair bit. You see my family's teeth are like chalk and as such do break very easily. We've broken them on all sorts of stuff… potato crisps, minties, (_Those suckers actually break/pull out our teeth as such we are banned from eating those lollies and others like them!_) soft chewing gum and in my case soggy spring rolls! (_Hey I'm not joking either; I swear my family have been paying for the dentist's Porsche._)

Lately I've been in so much pain from it that I've been living off both the drugs and trips to the dentist. (_Which means that I have to work twice as hard: to survive the dental bills!_)

But the main reasons as to WHY I haven't updated for sooo long is because of something that I had to do as a committee member of my anime club.

Yes, we had to ban someone from attending. (_No, I won't say as to why just that they had broken our 'code of conduct'… Repeatedly and even to the point of bringing weapons into the hall!_)

Plus I was worried that the repercussions would have hurt or angered my beta and her family; as said person that my club had banned, lived with them.

(All is fine now... Tora)

So in my little world of 'not wanting to cause any more further upsets' I kept away.

Besides according to said person, I had 'betrayed' everyone's trust and abused my rights as both a friend and committee member of my club. (_You should have heard some of the 'lovely' Note the sarcasm messages this person sent me!_)

This person then proceeded to run around and spread false rumours around. (_Oh well it has been sorted out. But said person is still spouting stupid things about others now._)

So you can tell I've had a very busy time at the moment. What with work, family, the local wildlife, anime club and banned person. Oh well gotta go now. Take it easy everyone and sorry again for the late update.

Please don't shoot me (or the beta! haha.. Tora) and I will try and get the next chapter out soon! With the 'WRENCH OF DOOM' looming over my head from you lot waiting for the next chapter, I dare not make it as late as this one has been!


	11. Apologies Pt 2

Sorry everyone. I'm going to be late updating ... 'again'!

**PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!**

The thing is that I have broken more teeth ... 'again' (_Damn I hate my teeth sometimes!_) and have been having to help deal with a problem at work.

The problem that I am having at work does not involve the facillity, residents or the main/older staff. It involves one of our trainee's.

This silly girl seems to think that she is the one who knows everything. Even to the point of telling the RN's (_Registered Nurses_), EN's (_Enrolled Nurses_) and the Carers who have gained their certificates in that area of expertise. (_Of which I am one of them._)

The first day that I met her was not long after I joined the nursing home as one of the main members of the care staff. She seemed nice enough, but after she asked how old I was I suddenly got treated like an ignorant child.

I know I like a good joke, plus I am considered one of the jokers and I am the youngest member of staff that is rostered on at the moment; (_I turned 31 in March._) But she just seems to think that I must be around 10 or some other age at that time as she actually treats me as such.

I did ask her as to why she does not respect my position enough to abuse me so, all she said was that she didn't want to hear this convesation and then proceeded to tell me (_Take note that I am the senior staff member and that we are supposed to work as a team._) to do someone (_Who is a two person job._) on my own until I calmed down. (_As you could imagine I was really ticked off and as such I had to go to the RN on duty and ask to be excused for a little while, until I could calm down enough as I did not want to upset the rest of the residents._) To say I was angry at that time was an understatement.

This person I must confess has done nothing more than abuse the residents as well. Even to the point of showing them their soiled undergarments, demand them to 'view' what they have done and then proceed to tell them that they are disgusting for even doing such a thing, totally unaware that they are unable to control that type of accident and are already embarrassed. (_This type of behaivour that this stupid bint has shown is considered as elder abuse and is a very serious type of abuse that has no place in any nursing home regardless of a certain someone's view. It is also a criminal offence for someone in my type of industry._)

I have been spending my days complaining (_Like the other members of staff._) about her version of being a good Carer. My D.O.N. (_aka... Director Of Nursing._) has been starting a paper trail to make sure that this person is dealt with both fairly and efficiently! (_And also in case this person decides that it should be taken to court over unfair dissmissal._)

Everyone there (_I must add_) are the most caring group of Care staff that I have ever had the pleasure to meet and work with. This person has really thrown the older staff into a loop with her accusations of some of the older Care staff abusing her and the newer staff (_Of which I am a part of._) being the better one's to work with. (_Unaware that the newer staff and trainee's are also upset with her attitude towards others._)

The only thing that got me laughing about her new version of complaints is that she demanded that 'I' tell the D.O.N. that I made a mistake and if I didn't she was going to tell the D.O.N. that I did some really awful things.

I have never been 'really' angry (_Or upset_) at a trainee before until now. (_I've also gotten the reputation of being a good person to train others into how to be a good Carer._) I just really couldn't stand her bull-headed attitude anymore. (_Hey mistakes are one thing but to do things over and over again is beyond a joke._)

And after she tried to get a resident from a 'low' lying bed (_All of the beds are electric to make it easier on our backs and the residents getting up out of bed by being able to lift to certain heights suitible to the needs required to the tasks at hand._) This person had 'grabbed' this poor lady (_Who is 98, bruises easily and being that age is capable of having a shoulder wrenched out of her socket._) on an upper arm and then proceeded to drag her out of bed!

This poor Woman is very lucky that all she gained was one VERY nasty bruising mark around her right arm. The EN was forced to wrap the bruise in a bandage and then cover with a piece of tubie-grip to help cushion and protect the arm as it is now prone to getting skin tears in that area! (_It looks like one very nasty blood blister gone wrong!_)

Hence the reason that I have not written lately. I couldn't write, because I have been sooo charged up and upset at this trainee. (_I would hate it if my Nana lived in a nursing home to be abused in that manner to which this girl is doing!_)

Sorry! I know you probably didn't want to know, but I have been really upset at this lately. (_And the only conforting thing is that the other workers at the facility -Including the D.O.N.- are trying to fix the problem peacefully and quickly._)

So I am sorry that I have not written much of my chapter, but I am just so fired up and down right furious at this person. Hey I still smile when others (_Like my friends and family_) are around, but I find that when I have a quiet moment I just tend to remember as to what this person has done to abuse not only the residents, the other members of staff and myself.

It's just that I am trying to write a bit of fun into it and all I can get at the moment is just how upset I am with this person.

Sorry everyone as I know how much people want to read the next chapter! (_Just as an apology hint there is going to be a Winry Vs Kakashi's Wit moment complete with a just a hint of WRENCH... sounds like a cooking anology.)_

Hopefully the next time I submit a chapter I can do this with a smile on my face.

Sorry again:-(

Inui's bastard love-child.


End file.
